With different ideologies from others and  my incoherent,blatant disregard to political correctness, I have modified the Top - 10.

Let me know if the changes are acceptable.

#10  Money in a big sack with a "$" on it shows up for the umpiring crew before every series.

#9   Anything the Tampa Bay Lightning can do, we can do better! (and not cause the game to stop playing for over a year to recover)

#8  If the name is changing, let's "Win one for the Devil"

#7   With this villainous club(Young,Dukes, and Mick-that writer on the DRAYS blog)), the 'Rays hire Vince McMahon to fill the Trop. We need to be the bad guy. And we'll like it,DAMN IT!

#6  Bugs Bunny signed as a free agent to play all 9 positions. If that fails, scientific evidence proves that rabbit feet are lucky.

#5  Because the champagne hangover always hurts worse but feels better than the hangover caused by drinking my bullpen woes away, which lasts forever!  

#4   Free parking and 50 cent beers at Ferg's before home games for anyone not wearing an opponents jersey or derby to promote fan loyalty.

#3   Because baseball games are played on FieldTurf II, not excel spreadsheets.

#2   'Rays sign Hulk Hogan who learns how stay back on a breaking ball. (and pass a steroid test) Barry Bonds will issue all tests.

#1   You didn't think they could, but they sure do find a cure for death. They take Ted Williams' frozen parts, bring him back to life and reattach his head. Then we dig up Babe Ruth and revive him too. Come to find out they both wanted to don a Devil Rays uni all along. Ted DHs at a .409 clip and drives in 145, while Babe throws 3 no-hitters, beats Kobiyashi on July 4th at Nathan's on Coney Island, while winning 30 games on the mound and comes second in Cy Young voting to Scott Kazmir (with THIS outfield, we don't need dead Ruth to hit!)

Penned,

"The Mick"