Imagine this. Two cars drag racing at 1 AM. One of the drivers is drunk and ahead. All of a sudden the drunk driver hits some mailboxes and is side by side by the sober driver, who is surprisingly tall. Some awesome office boss spikes the drunk guy's tires and their even more side by side than before. Drunk driver pulls ahead a tiny bit in the later parts of the race, but the sober driver uses  Nitrous Oxide to even it back up at the end.

Answers:

Drunk Driver is Brett Myers

Blown Out Tire is The Phillies Hitters not named Howard or Ruiz. 

Surprisingly tall guy is Jamie Shields.

Tire Spikes are the sac bunt.

Boss is The Bossman

Drunk Driver used Velociraptor Jesus brand Nitrous Oxide.