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Around SBN: Guest Blogger: Juco All-American Answers Five Questions

Ben Zobrist and PEDs

So somehow, Ben Zobrist has 10 homeruns this season. That is not a lot, but his previous career high, in the minors no less, was seven last season as a 26 year old in Triple-A Durham. Amazingly his slugging ability, not his on-base skills, have kept him a valuable offensive commodity which within itself is a miracle.

Remember, this was the guy who the Rays acquired in large part because of a career minor league OBP just a tick below .430. The power potential seemed more like a 30 doubles type rather than double-digit homeruns, but again something has transpired to make this happen and the only logical explanation is Jesus, the ultimate performance enhancing deity (PED).

Look at the 2002 Anaheim Angels (be more obvious Big Guy) or the 2007 Colorado Rockies, aka "God's team", known for their strong faith. Albert Pujols, owner of the 19 HR/FB% always credits his success to Jesus and so should Ben Zobrist, with his 15 HR/FB%. The baseball gods can be fickle when it comes to alternative PEDs Pedro Cerrano tried using voodoo to hit curveballs, years later he's selling car insurance and we should not forget that Jorge Cantu once credited his huge season to Buddha and promptly fell off. Neither of those were coincidences.

Interestingly Zobrist's 13 LD% and .246 BABIP are nearly luck free and Zobrist's strikeout rate remain nearly identical, although his walk rate is up. This largely suggests that Zobrist's PED of choice only affects homerun rates. In the past the sun god Ra has shown increased walk rates and, in general, longer games. Steve Trachsel was the most well known Ra-rah type; we all know how he pitched.

I'm not sure if this run of faith will continue for Zobrist, but at least we're feeling the benefits. More research is needed to find the year-to-year correlation in cases like this although I would suspect it is a one-and-done deal.

 

0 recs  |  Comment 19 comments

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How does one test for

Performance Enhancing Dieties?

by Peter Bendix on Sep 26, 2008 1:51 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Jesus Juice

www.outsperswing.com

by Tommy Rancel on Sep 26, 2008 1:53 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Don't forget the church boy roaming RF

He’s on the stuff too,and he’s not shy about having it announced over the Trop P.A. He uses the stuff to increase his clutchiness. I think he must have forgotten to take it yesterday, though.

by rayweaver on Sep 26, 2008 1:56 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I dunno

People have been hard on him, but he has continued to make big plays, despite being yo-yoed back and forth from minors to the majors.

These big plays are of course, HR’s. I shudder to think of what our record would be without him.

However, I do not like him on the field with Johnson, Aybar, and Herndandez. Maddon—don’t you ever pull that shit again.

by plasticman on Sep 26, 2008 2:18 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Isn't Ben Zobrist

Jewish? Doesn’t that change his PED? Could that hurt him in the long run?

by staplemaniac on Sep 26, 2008 2:23 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

He's Methodist or Baptist or something like that.

I’m too BJ to look it up, but they did one of those 30 minute shows on him last year or the year before, and I don’t recall Judaism being mentioned.

by rayweaver on Sep 26, 2008 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Okay, okay

So I thought his name sounded jewish. I was wrong. I’m sorry.

by staplemaniac on Sep 26, 2008 5:12 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Zobrist is so juicing it this year

The ultra religious are the biggest hypocrites.

by putupyourDUKES on Sep 26, 2008 3:50 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

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