Ben Zobrist and PEDs
So somehow, Ben Zobrist has 10 homeruns this season. That is not a lot, but his previous career high, in the minors no less, was seven last season as a 26 year old in Triple-A Durham. Amazingly his slugging ability, not his on-base skills, have kept him a valuable offensive commodity which within itself is a miracle.
Remember, this was the guy who the Rays acquired in large part because of a career minor league OBP just a tick below .430. The power potential seemed more like a 30 doubles type rather than double-digit homeruns, but again something has transpired to make this happen and the only logical explanation is Jesus, the ultimate performance enhancing deity (PED).
Look at the 2002 Anaheim Angels (be more obvious Big Guy) or the 2007 Colorado Rockies, aka "God's team", known for their strong faith. Albert Pujols, owner of the 19 HR/FB% always credits his success to Jesus and so should Ben Zobrist, with his 15 HR/FB%. The baseball gods can be fickle when it comes to alternative PEDs Pedro Cerrano tried using voodoo to hit curveballs, years later he's selling car insurance and we should not forget that Jorge Cantu once credited his huge season to Buddha and promptly fell off. Neither of those were coincidences.
Interestingly Zobrist's 13 LD% and .246 BABIP are nearly luck free and Zobrist's strikeout rate remain nearly identical, although his walk rate is up. This largely suggests that Zobrist's PED of choice only affects homerun rates. In the past the sun god Ra has shown increased walk rates and, in general, longer games. Steve Trachsel was the most well known Ra-rah type; we all know how he pitched.
I'm not sure if this run of faith will continue for Zobrist, but at least we're feeling the benefits. More research is needed to find the year-to-year correlation in cases like this although I would suspect it is a one-and-done deal.
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19 comments
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How does one test for
Performance Enhancing Dieties?
by Peter Bendix on
Sep 26, 2008 1:51 PM EDT
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Don't forget the church boy roaming RF
He’s on the stuff too,and he’s not shy about having it announced over the Trop P.A. He uses the stuff to increase his clutchiness. I think he must have forgotten to take it yesterday, though.
by rayweaver on
Sep 26, 2008 1:56 PM EDT
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I dunno
People have been hard on him, but he has continued to make big plays, despite being yo-yoed back and forth from minors to the majors.
These big plays are of course, HR’s. I shudder to think of what our record would be without him.
However, I do not like him on the field with Johnson, Aybar, and Herndandez. Maddon—don’t you ever pull that shit again.
by plasticman on
Sep 26, 2008 2:18 PM EDT
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So if Jesus is the ultimate PED...
What is Velociraptor Jesus?
by steve-o1285 on
Sep 26, 2008 2:19 PM EDT
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Isn't Ben Zobrist
Jewish? Doesn’t that change his PED? Could that hurt him in the long run?
by staplemaniac on
Sep 26, 2008 2:23 PM EDT
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He's Methodist or Baptist or something like that.
I’m too BJ to look it up, but they did one of those 30 minute shows on him last year or the year before, and I don’t recall Judaism being mentioned.
by rayweaver on
Sep 26, 2008 2:56 PM EDT
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He played college ball at Dallas Baptist Univ.
Sounds Jewish to me.
by RATW on
Sep 26, 2008 3:28 PM EDT
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Dallas Baptist Universtein
Sounds Jewish to me too.
by rayweaver on
Sep 26, 2008 4:36 PM EDT
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Okay, okay
So I thought his name sounded jewish. I was wrong. I’m sorry.
by staplemaniac on
Sep 26, 2008 5:12 PM EDT
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Attributing ANYTHING related to Ben Zobrist to Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is BLASPHEMY.
Your looking at the wrong PED; try Satan.
by Acadien on
Sep 26, 2008 3:47 PM EDT
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Zobrist is so juicing it this year
The ultra religious are the biggest hypocrites.
by putupyourDUKES on
Sep 26, 2008 3:50 PM EDT
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Let's stick to talking baseball.
Shall we?
by PSmith7 on
Sep 26, 2008 6:20 PM EDT
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