“I can confidently reply to this with a scenario. In room A, is a luscious woman*(your ultimate ideal of a wife in perfect form) and in room B, a life supply of all sorts of different bacon.
Say you choose room 1; for weeks, months, maybe even years, you have spectacular sex with this woman. You prod, you nibble, you lick, you explore every crevasse until God himself blushes; but in the back of your mind, there is a niggling sensation. It starts with a staggered climax, you know you love the woman to death, and the sex is great, and even as your hanging upside down, penetrating her anus on a kite swing over a piano while she wears that lovely pink leather mask with the zipper across the mouth that you love; something is missing. And it grows. Doubt. Even if she doesn’t age and her naughty bits stay as fresh as the day God blessed her at age 18, the doubt will grow. And it will consume you, and eventually the sex will become a chore and the chore will become a burden, and the burden become inescapable suffering until your last days, as you die a withered stump plagued with nervous disorders and you’ve said "dick no good” so many times you feel you should own a copyright on the phrase.
On the other hand, say you were wise beyond your years and chose door B. You initially doubt your choice, and even during that first bite of bacon your taste buds are subdued by the pernicious thoughts that for the rest of your days, never a woman you will touch again. Then as you eat, and you go from smoked bacon, to Canadian bacon, to honeyed bacon, your eyes open, and the voices of heaven spill out in unison; you are in a veritable bacon cornucopia. Yes, you still miss sex, and masturbate frequently, but as you feast on bacons that haven’t existed in millenia, and bacons that no mortal would ever taste, you slowly grow fat, your body diverting its energies to the preparation and digestion of new bacons. Under your new found corpulence, your sexual bits wither, shrivel and recede beneath layers of blubber, crafted from the finest pork bellies money could buy, and eventually you all together forget about sex. You die within five years, a beefed up, porked out, filled in shadow of the man you once were; and as you choke on that last bit of bacon, because your gullet is being compressed by so much fat the act of eating is toiling, you die, maple syrup glazed around your lips, with a perfect smile stretched (quite fucking literally) across your porcine features.
*For all you female bacon eating (loving) redditors, substitute all the female portions for a man of equal or greater value.
"

but I can’t see the logic to this one.

Is that cruel?

and (turns to dark side) maybe some injuries also!

Something about their choices for throwing out the first pitch for the ALDS games.

The running gag all day was who should throw out the first pitch if the Rays go to the ALCS and World Series.

Just thought I’d throw that out there.

WE PLAY WHOEVER WINS OMG

If we win it all, unban sternfan1, email him that he is unbanned and lets see his comments

All the sudden, he will be the biggest Rays fan ever

Maybe Griffey can drink some Brain tonic like the simpsons.

:)

HE CANT THROW STRIKES

and injuries(minor) and other stuff that sucks for fans of these 2 teams!

I mean, playoff atmosphere, and both teams are playing to continue their season, and this game isn’t played if both teams aren’t in the position they are now. NCAA Basketball would consider this a tournament game.

fuckers

Right now I only know of 5….. Shields, Kaz, Garza, Sonny and Crawford…..a lot of obvious ones but i must know all 25!

Joe Sheehan (4:56:34 PM PT): “benrosenberg02 (boston): Why Wise and not Swisher?”

I don’t know, and frankly, the whole issue is getting a little weird. The White Sox are playing DeWayne Wise, and using Ken Griffey Jr. in center field, while benching Nick Swisher…and they’re eight innings from the playoffs.

LOL

too easy for Danks

Greatest trade ever

God damnit….

Throw lots of pitches!

/Tyler bait.

1st and 2nd for A.J. Douchebag

but if it stays tied, that would be awesome

Danks and Blackburn need some Kazmiritis.

Also an awesome decision

Punto is making Danks work

Joe Sheehan (5:20:47 PM PT): Stockton: “Punto, trying to stay alive, does just that.”

If he hadn’t, he’d have been dead. On first base.

Twice now. Geez, pitch recognition.

LOL at the Twins.

just keep it tied, if nothing else

Getting better

See what the Twins did? Yeah, do that.

Sure you guys dont wanna face the White Sox?

Blackburn only at 40 through 3 now

Both teams seem to be extreme hackers

Try to make Blackburn work this time, ’kay ChiSox?

good thing Delmon is up

but it’s okay, Delmon and Brendan Harris are there

Go on and suck, Brendan! WE BELIEVE!

The Tigers last place finish was because of Chuck Hernandez, says Detroit sports talk radio. They are celebrating his firing.. and Matt Millen’s too.

especially on 3 days rest

Now, can Blackburn actually throw some?

dont get a hit but have a prolonged AB

White Sox are suck hackers tonight

LETS GO EXTRA INNINGS LET’S GO (clap, clap) (repeat)

what happened to Punto being pesky?

GOD

and hes on 3 days rest, he will be done soon

everyone else loves to swing the bat

of course, that’s heavily dependent on clutch hitting and they’re not too far ahead of the ninth-best offensive team.

If only Blackburn was even working up a sweat…..

Why can’t the ChiSox do this?

Cons of this game: might take 90 innings.

make him work

Blackburn will pitch 12 innings tonight……

Danks better keep them shut out here also

wonderful work