I see you have interest in adding a reliever...

"Sometimes you go after high-profile guys, and sometimes you try and get not-so-high-profile guys," Dombrowski said Wednesday. We've been trying to do both... I don't think there's a dominant-type guy out there.  No Joe Nathans or K-Rods. But I wouldn't be surprised if we added a couple of guys."

I think the Rays can be the perfect trading partner for you yet again. I know relations between Andrew Friedman and yourself could be a little rough, after all, you masterfully heisted Edwin Jackson from the Rays for some generic outfielder. Which is exactly why you should deal wtih the Rays once more and acquire Troy Percival and/or Dan Wheeler.

Frankly sir, we both know you're lying to yourself when you say "I don't think there's a dominant-type guy out there." Troy Percival has 352 career saves. That is more than "K-Rod", more than Nathan, and more than wunderkinds like Todd Jones, Jose Mesa, and Armando Benitez.

In fact, Percival is eighth all-time in saves. Eighth! Sure, Percival's 2008 looks a bit poor, but that's because the Rays mishandled him! This "no designated closer crap because the numbers suggest it's a better utilization of talent", what is this, statistics class or baseball? Percival pitched through obvious pain and saved 28 games while doing so.

If Percival's a little too grizzly for your tastes, there's always Dan Wheeler. 3.12 ERA, 0.995 WHIP, and unbelievably, Wheeler is a talented pitcher. A career high 13 saves last year seems to suggest that Wheeler is in his prime. Ignore the drop in strikeouts, he's simply pitching to contact, which is better than getting strikeouts because...who likes fascism anyways?

In return, I only ask that you send some minor league prospect who won't help you win this year.