J.P. Howell's Favorite Subject Is Chemistry

by R.J. Anderson on Feb 28, 2009 11:09 PM EST

This one time my friends and I were watching some horrendous movie starring Samuel L. Jackson. Somehow, we began discussing how much we would be willing to pay Mr. Jackson to narrate our life for a day. The figures got a bit ungodly - as you would expect - and in the end, it all went for naught. To this day the sound of Jackson's voice stings my soul. With that being said, I'm in no way exaggerating when I say I would pay a good amount if J.P. Howell were to Twitter about his life. With quotes like these, who wouldn't:

"Willy's been looking at me funny this whole spring. I'm a little nervous about what he's thinking. So, I don't know, man. We'll find out."

St. Petersburg Times

See what I mean? Howell is basically a character from a Kevin Smith movie. I mean he's got like two responses that he applies to any given scenario. As I mentioned before, having access to the Baseball Info Solutions database opens avenues for studies I never could have achieved in the past. Thankfully, this is one of them: to find out how much I should be willing to pay for Howell to Twitter for a year.

Below you see the expression expectancy chart:

Howellreactions1_medium

And here's a trend graph:

Howellreactions_medium

The data doesn't seem to agree. We would assume that more good news - or more wins - would raise the level of sweets, but the usage would imply the Rays were near .500 in 2007. If we assume the expectancy chart is to be trusted, Howell's "Sweet" usage could continue to go up, but therein lies the problem: we shouldn't simply assume an uptrend. To project the 2009 trend we should take the last three years of data and average it - perhaps even apply weights.

I'll spare you the math and simply share the results. Yes, we should expect a decent amount of "Sweet" usage this year, but perhaps not as much as 2008. I'm not ready to cal it a fluke, but you have to admit it's a bit of an outlier.

Based on my preliminary findings, a year of Howell's Twittering services is worth ~1.2 million. Closer to 2 million if he proves 2008 wasn't a fluke.

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Found this more interesting FTA:

he Riverside County (Calif.) Sheriff’s office has sought public help in trying to locate Troy Percival’s customized red 1956 Ford F-100 pickup, valued at $100,000, that was stolen last month; Percival figures it was sold for parts.

First, these trucks are beautiful. It would be a shame if this is actually what happened to his truck. Regardless of whether you like Percival as a pitcher or not, you have to admire his taste in classic vehicles.

Second, I guess this is the vehicle that was specified as a rider in his contract. I know someone asked about it here sometime earlier, but I can’t find the thread or the poster.

by kericr on Feb 28, 2009 11:15 PM EST reply actions

8/10

Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.

by P Brady on Feb 28, 2009 11:17 PM EST reply actions

Samuel L. Jackson has been in a horrendous movie?

by Aaron Campeau on Feb 28, 2009 11:27 PM EST reply actions

The Spirit

Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.

by P Brady on Feb 28, 2009 11:30 PM EST up reply actions

Deep Blue Sea would've been better if it were more realistic.

No shark is going to mess with SLJ.

by R.J. Anderson on Feb 28, 2009 11:39 PM EST up reply actions

Were it not for Christina Ricci's boobs, Black Snake Moan would have been unwatchable.

by ReasonableDoubt on Feb 28, 2009 11:48 PM EST up reply actions

i laughed out loud at least 5 times

because those 5 parts were filmed and time/money was spent on them… then probably another 3-4 times at just stuff that came out of SLJ’s mouth.

ps— it is also amazing at how they somehow managed to make Paz Vega look unattractive

by daveh33 on Mar 1, 2009 2:18 AM EST up reply actions

oh yeah

by Aaron Campeau on Mar 1, 2009 6:32 AM EST up reply actions

What will it take to get Garza to make his own rap album?

Swav or Die.

by SRQman on Mar 1, 2009 12:29 AM EST reply actions

ho's, super soakers, natty light

a guess

by daveh33 on Mar 1, 2009 2:16 AM EST up reply actions

The Howell Abides.

Vogt early, Vogt often.

by Brickhaus on Mar 1, 2009 2:19 AM EST reply actions

that's just like, yer opinion, man

by daveh33 on Mar 1, 2009 2:21 AM EST up reply actions

Howell is hilarious

I would totally hang out with him.

even if he wasn’t a semi-famous baseball player.

by mittens on Mar 1, 2009 2:41 AM EST reply actions

he probably wouldn't hang out with me though :(

by mittens on Mar 1, 2009 2:41 AM EST up reply actions

I got the oppurtunity to drink with him once at Tylers outside of the DBAP a couple years ago

It was a great night, got wasted with most of the team but spent most of my time talking to JP. From that one nights experience he definately fits most descriptions given of him. Plus he doesn’t seem to mind buying people shots of Patron :)

… Longo was there as well but for some reason decided to spend his time with his smoking hot GF instead of us mortals…. looking back can’t say I blame him

by Dbullsfan on Mar 1, 2009 10:05 AM EST up reply actions