|Aside from Gary Sheffield, the Phillies have interest in Rangers outfielder Andruw Jones. Sullivan says the Phils "have been scouting Jones extensively this spring.
Here is a monologue, starring Ruben Amaro Jr.
*Takes sip from flask*
"Y...You know the fucking world champs need?"
"Th...The fuckin world champs need another outfielder"
Offscreen:"But don't we have Ibanez and Victorino and Stairs and Werth and jenkins"
"FUCK GEOFF JENKINS, HIS PARENTS SPELLED JEFF WRONG. RELEASE HIM."
"Ho..How about Andurw Jomnes, he's an allb star!"
"Gary sheffrield was just releasded too, he's in gonna be the 500 home run club"
"who fuckin needa deflense when you got da lon g ball, chicks dig tha long ball!"
"get rolan nyan on the phone, we're gonna propose carrasco, some minor league pitcher, for that all star andruw jones!"
"why the shit the braves ever let him go I never know."
All typos intentional.