The Point After for 5.12.09

The Rays are struggling a little bit. The Magic are blowing a winnable series. Bad times right now. So to lift everyone's spirits, here are some selections from a little blog called "The Point After" (Tampa Bay Dot Com, Check it out!)

To begin here, the blog is described thusly:

It ain't easy annoying an entire market of sports fans one newspaper at a time. So, to expedite the process, Times columnists Gary Shelton and John Romano are bringing cranky to the web site. They'll dance, they'll sing. John may even scratch himself. And, this time, they're inviting you to take part in the debate.

Yes, this blog is the viking funeral for Newspaper Sportswriting.

Hmm, I wonder what kind of topic "cranky" sportswriters would like to delve into. Steroids perhaps?

Well, of course. Gary? Take it away:

If you took all the junk that athletes have used over the years, would you have to be on steroids to lift it? For crying out loud, how much of the cheater juice is out there? Rivers? Oceans? More than all the bottles of water in the country?

Ahahahahaha, good one! Take that bottled water drinkers!

You know who's hot with the kids on the internet these days? The Boston Sports Guy, Bill Simmons. Lets see Gary attempt to capture that same style of irreverent pop culture references:

Throw in the human growth hormone, and all the drugs used to mask it from detection, and even Willie Nelson would be impressed.

Willie Nelson! Relevant 30 years ago!!!! HE DID DRUGS! GET IT!?!??! OLD PEOPLE!!!!

Manny got popped for a fertility drug, seems ripe for comedy...

By now, of course, you have heard that Manny Ramirez has tested positive for a female fertility drug -- just Manny being tranny --  that is commonly used to restart testosterone production after a steroid cycle.

YES! /high-fives air-firn that is my only companion in here in Mom's basement.

The column BLOG POST then quickly devolves into the always fresh realm of Hall of Fame worthiness.

That's an awful lot of guys not allowed in the Hall. Throw in Pete Rose and the Black Sox, and you're getting close to a pretty good roster. And remember, we have no idea how many players used -- and how many didn't.

Just a reminder, Gary has a BBWAA Badge. He can do something about this.

I'm getting pretty bored with this (I'd imagine you'd feel the same way if you were actually still reading at this point), so I need you to take us home G. Shel (we homies):

Here's a solution. How about a Hall of Shame wing out back of the Hall of Fame? It would be for players whose scandals have kept them out of the main wing. You could have betting slips and syringes and t-shirts with Jose Canseco's face.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HALL OF SHAME. LMBO!! LMAO!!!! LMUO (laugh my uterus out)!!!!!!!! BRILLIANT GARY, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!!!