FanPost

FLY FATASS FLY: A Navi related weight loss challenge




Long and Short of it: Navi used to be relatively awesome. Now he's a fat blob of not hitting. I used to be awesome, now I'm a fat blob period. SO! The question is presented: who will improve more by the end of the season? Will I be able to lose more weight than Navi gains in BA percentage? Numbers, rewards, punishments and more after the jump

 

SO Fatass, Navicopter, Rally Killer, after nearly being run out of town in 2007, turned in an all star 2008, upping his career BA to .256. This year he is turning in .211, on par with his 07, run-me-out-of-town-on-a-dessert-cart style batting average. This means he is 45 points under average.

 

Where does yours truly fit in? Well Navi and I share something in common: hundreds of thousands of fat baseball dollars? No. Hundreds of pounds of fat and a love of all things steak/beer/churro/chicken wing? Absolutely. I managed to balloon up to a ponderous 340 pounds last year and have shaved 40 or so off my 6'2 frame. I have a long way to go to get back to awesome. But I was thinking, how can I track my progress versus another relative failure? Ah Navi if the fat fits you must acquit.

So the challenge is afoot: Will I lose more weight than Navi hopefully regresses to his career average by the end of the regular season? A worthwhile challenge. If I win, I get this much closer to being insurable without gigantic megapremiums. And maybe someone might give a shit and reward me with something at the very least i'll keep track in this thread and people might laugh with pictures, graphs, or something. Who knows? Maybe Navi will actually get better and put me to the test. 45 pounds in 4 months is doable just as .045 increase in BA is also doable. Look at Upton (PBUH).

 

If I lose, if somehow Navi goes 2nd half 07 apeshit or I just camp out at crazy buffet every week for the next several months, i'll have to do something horribly embarassing. i was contemplating buying a navarro t shirt or jersey and make a video of myself singing "Youre the top" pantsless a la Hawkeye to Honeycutt in that prank episode of MASH and uploading it to youtube. Maybe navi himself might find out about this and laugh. Or not. Maybe the Draysbay community could come up with a collective punishment or something.

Either way the only rule is that nobody outs me for who I am in real life if for some reason they know, unless I somehow do it myself. (GomesSweetGomes being the only draysbayer i met irl)

Go ahead and think of some collective punishments. I will post a photo of my fat ass on a scale tonight. Navi, you're on the fat clock!

 

PS if he gets dealt this season (unlikely) this is still on. If he's injured and out for the season we may have to come up with a kazmir era related dare as well.

 

HAHAHA OH WOW.

This post was written by a member of the DRaysBay community and does not necessarily express the views or opinions of DRaysBay staff.

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