We few, We happy few, shall remember this Niemann's Day.
I know the past few days have been tough. You're broken, you're sore, you're tired of staying up until 1 or 2 in the morning just to see another heart-wrenching loss. But Boston's pitching is still horrible, and their lineup is about to take another hit with Youk's suspension. Texas is faltering against the Indians, and they're just as bad on the road as we are. They have to go through the entire AL East, including the Rays, in the next few weeks. This can be done. Nay, this must be done. The bandwagon is emptying so the idiots can focus on fool's ball. This is the time. This is the place. The comeback starts now. The comeback starts today. The comeback starts on St. Niemann's Day.
What's he that wishes so?
The user Raymondo? No, my fair DraysBay’rs;
If we are mark'd to lose, we are enough
To cheer the team, even if a loss; and if to win,
The fewer fans, the greater share of bandwagon to ourselves.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one fan more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for no-hitters,
Nor care I how many sit in the Dome;
It yearns me not if BJ Upton strikes out;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet the playoffs,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from the Bay.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one fan more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Raymondo, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not cheer in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to cheer with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Niemann.
He that outlives this season, and sees a playoff game this year,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Niemann.
He that shall survive this season, and see these playoffs,
Will yearly on the vigil brag to his co-workers,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Niemann.'
Then will he make a joke and talk about the WAR,
And say 'These thingss I learn’d on Niemann's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But we'll remember, with advantages,
What feats we did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
David the King, MVB and Beejus,
Evan and Zaun, Maddon and Friedman-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Niemann Niemann shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that cheers this team with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in Tampa Bay now-a-watching-the-Bucs
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That cheered with us upon Saint Niemann's day.
12 recs |
28 comments
Comments
I prefer this
Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
I can't help that I make some things look easier than they really are.
by Sandy Kazmir on Aug 12, 2009 9:05 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
We'll get there. At this rate, we'll need enough pick-me-ups into October that I'll be going down AFI's Top 100 list.
Into the Wall : Sarcasm for the Soccer Guy
by ReasonableDoubt on Aug 12, 2009 9:16 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse
I can't help that I make some things look easier than they really are.
by Sandy Kazmir on Aug 12, 2009 9:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
You smell that? I said, do you smell that? That's baseball, son. Nothing in the world smells like that.
I love the smell of baseball in the morning. You know, one time we had the Jays bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over, I walked up the mound. We didn’t find one of them, not one stinkin’ hit ball. The smell, you know that baseball smell, the whole hill. Smelled like…. Jeff Niemann.
by Suttree on Aug 12, 2009 9:29 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
You don't have to do this
Niemann! What can you say? Who made him? God must have been a fuckin’ genius. The curveball… They say the curveball is everything, you know. Have you ever whiffed on a mountain of a yacker… just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or fastball… and when you fouled it off, you were like… that first swallow of wine… after you just crossed the desert. The change. Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, faders staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Grit. I don’t care if it’s 5:00 shadow… or diving headfirst. Being white … passport to heaven. I need a drink. Yes, Mr Sims, there’s only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: strikeout. Hah! Are you listenin’ to me, son? I’m givin’ ya pearls here.
I can't help that I make some things look easier than they really are.
by Sandy Kazmir on Aug 12, 2009 9:50 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Get the chalk!
Get the fucking chalk! Put me on the board! Put me on the Cadillac board! Maddon! Pick up the fucking chalk! Hey, Grant, I closed em! I closed the cocksucker!
by Suttree on Aug 12, 2009 10:05 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Fuck you. That’s my name. You know why, mister? You drove a Hyundai to get here. I drove an eighty-thousand dollar BMW. THAT’S my name. And your name is you’re wanting. You can’t play in the man’s game, you can’t win them – go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get more runs than the other team after the last out. You hear me you fucking faggots? A-B-W. A-Always, B-Be, W-Winning. Always be winning. ALWAYS BE WINNING. 1-1-1-1. First Strike, First Out, First Run, First Win. First Strike – Start the count off with a strike. First Out – Get the leadoff batter. I know you will, because it’s out or walk. You get the out or you hit the bricks. First Run – Score the first run of the game. And First Win. 1-1-1-1. Get out there – you got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don’t walk on the diamond lest he wants to win. They’re sitting out there waiting to give you their ability. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What’s the problem, pal?
I can't help that I make some things look easier than they really are.
by Sandy Kazmir on Aug 12, 2009 10:13 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is the new lead. This is our ninth inning lead. And to you, they’re gold, and you don’t get them. Want to know why? Because to give the lead to you would be throwing it away. Leads are for Closers!
by behn on Aug 12, 2009 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
.....
Everybody, this is Niemann. How’s everyone doing? You’re all probably too tired to even stand up after all the fighting. But I want everyone to listen to me… We still have a chance to win, and I need your help. This is going to be our final battle. We’re going to attack them before they come in again. To do that, we’re going to head straight into Fenway. So I want everyone to prepare for a major collision. Take care of all the bullpen pitchers. Longo, CC, Zorilla, and JB will lead the attack into their ballpark. As for everyone else, please support them if you can. The Rays were formed to take the AL East, at least, that’s what I heard. And Maddon was hired to train the Rays. So this battle is Maddon’s destiny and also our destiny. It’s a grueling battle, and I’m sure you guys are all exhausted. But I don’t want to have any regrets. I don’t want anyone to look back and regret this day. So just this once, I want you guys to give everything you’ve got! For yourselves, and for me!
by IntrepidX on Aug 14, 2009 4:43 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Henry V - good stuff
www.bucem.com - SBNation's source for all things Buccaneer
by Buc Wild on Aug 12, 2009 9:15 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The West Coast is our Agincourt
And we are the French
The girls left. According to one patron, Hamilton, piss-drunk by that point, asked the manager where he could buy blow. The manager didn't know. "Let's go to a strip club," Hamilton said. Someone drove Hamilton to Les Girls in Phoenix, Arizona.
by Top Gun Numba 1 on Aug 12, 2009 9:36 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The Maginot line was stupid
I can't help that I make some things look easier than they really are.
by Sandy Kazmir on Aug 12, 2009 9:51 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Anyone see Edwin try to go after Youk last night?
Also, what a bitch Youk is for getting thrown down by Porcello.
by Suttree on Aug 12, 2009 10:31 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I love the helmet throw.
What a puss.
by BigBadBossman on Aug 12, 2009 10:33 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Porcellowned
So long, Sweet Lime!
by PlayOnWords on Aug 12, 2009 10:40 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Oh my god, you are sooooooooo clever.
Do you write for a living? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD.
by Suttree on Aug 12, 2009 11:01 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Took me all night to come up with it.
So long, Sweet Lime!
by PlayOnWords on Aug 12, 2009 11:06 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Play on, words, play on
I can't help that I make some things look easier than they really are.
by Sandy Kazmir on Aug 12, 2009 11:07 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Some people have a gift.
So long, Sweet Lime!
by PlayOnWords on Aug 12, 2009 11:12 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Are you getting worried yet?
We will never win another game! HAHAHAH!!!!!!
by lamondo on Aug 12, 2009 11:20 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Lame-ondo
Nice
I can't help that I make some things look easier than they really are.
by Sandy Kazmir on Aug 12, 2009 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Way to resort to namecalling.
I try to have a resonabl ediscussion and you call names!
WHY DO YOU MAKE IT ABOUT ME!?
by lamondo on Aug 12, 2009 11:57 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is great since Niemann is The Future
Swav or Die (>'-')> <('-')> <('-'<)
For the lulz
by SRQman on Aug 12, 2009 1:30 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I liked Troy...
Wasn’t really a bad guy. He was one of us… Percy … You’ve become just a memory. Will they… Will they talk about me this way if I get DL’d, too? Bradford was this and that. Using past tense, saying whatever they want? So this is what DLing is all about… Not for me. I won’t have it!!! I won’t have it! I’m not having anyone talk about me in the past tense!
by IntrepidX on Aug 14, 2009 4:29 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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