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Pre-Sux Series Encounter



So on Sunday, I had an interesting, and unexpected Red Sox encounter.

 

Star-divide

As some of you may know, I am am a cursed Rays fan--cursed not only by living in Boston, but also because I live across the street from Fenway Park. After the Boston home game this past Sunday, my girlfriend and I were walking past the stadium on our way to get dinner. The place was deserted, everyone had either left or was inside one of the many crappy bars that cluster around the park.

Up ahead of us was a group of four dressed-up folks heading towards the park.  I initially thought these people were kids going to a prom.  The two guys were wearing suits, but the girls were wearing some of the worst dresses you can imagine.  I pointed the group out, and my girlfriend asked, "Is that girl wearing a trash bag?"

She pretty much was.  We started quietly making fun of the girls' attire for a few seconds, and then I realized who the guys were: we had been making fun of the wives of Dustin Pedroia, and Jonathan Papelbon (now you can understand why I thought it was a prom, given Pedroia's size).  You have to understand, the women, they were wearing the worst dresses in the world.  Short, slutty things, that probably looked good to the wife of a baseball player, but bordered on comical, and costume.  Papelbon's wife was wearing the trash bag, while Pedroia's was sporting something that looked like a fight between tinfoil and a rubber tire.  Needless to say, the local girls up here have some trouble with class.

I was wearing my green Devil Rays hat, and as soon as I realized who the guys were, I started laughing--what are the chances I run into these two guys, randomly, on a deserted street?  Papelbaum didn't notice, but Pedroia did.  He looked pissed, either because I was making fun of his wife's horrible--wouldn't even fly in Miami--dress, or because I was wearing a Tampa hat next to his stadium.  In Boston you may see some Yankee hats, but you never ever see Rays gear--unless I'm the one wearing it.  As we passed, I was still laughing, and he actually tried to stare me down, which is harder for him than hitting the high inside fastball.

No fight.  No words exchanged.  But I definitely pissed Boston's second baseman off.  Had their wives not been there, Pedroia probably would have had Papelbon turn me into a pretzel--similar to my most recent ejection from the park during the playoffs last year.

Anyone going to the game tonight, sitting on the third base line near the bullpen, do me a favor: remind Papelbum that his wife dresses like a... ahem, you get the idea.

3 recs  |  Comment 22 comments |

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The Baseball Caste System

Sep 2009 by R.J. Anderson - 617 comments

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BTW

Not sure if this should be a fanshot or a fanpost—never done either before. Let me know and I’ll move it around if need be.

by plasticman on Sep 1, 2009 11:57 AM EDT reply actions  

Fanpost

is good, fanshots are better though.

WHOO, LUKE! LUKE! LUKE!

by Some other guy who does not care on Sep 1, 2009 12:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh thank Beejus you're safe

Protect your cornhole around those two.

Embrace Eternity

by Sandy Kazmir on Sep 1, 2009 12:03 PM EDT reply actions  

Nice pun

I’ll just say it in plain English, Dustin Pedroia and Jon Papsmear have poopsex with each other nightly.

Embrace Eternity

by Sandy Kazmir on Sep 1, 2009 12:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

That gnome's wife just had a baby 2 weeks ago

Tough to rag on her about what she’s wearing but what in the hell is she doing out that late so soon after a baby?

by Jason Collette on Sep 1, 2009 12:08 PM EDT reply actions  

She made it very easy to rag on her

very easy, and no baby in sight. Not sure what mom leaves the baby so soon, but, eh.

by plasticman on Sep 1, 2009 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wait, this guy's brother molests children?

The girls left. According to one patron, Hamilton, piss-drunk by that point, asked the manager where he could buy blow. The manager didn't know. "Let's go to a strip club," Hamilton said. Someone drove Hamilton to Les Girls in Phoenix, Arizona.

by Top Gun Numba 1 on Sep 1, 2009 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

Umm... this is the pitcher formerly known as Papelbon.

Since this guy’s at least as tall as Youk and Papi (behind him).

by bdalebs on Sep 1, 2009 7:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

douchy tattoo

all but confirms your papelbum sighting

Kaz/Shields/Garza/Sonny/Price/Davis/Hellickson-necessitate a drool cup or a 7 man rotation

by CubFanRaysaddict on Sep 2, 2009 1:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

"Tampa hat"

Sorry, but it’s a huge pet peeve of mine and I will not let it ever die.

The team is Tampa BAY and does not play in “Tampa”.

Other than that, good story. Wish you’d have kicked Pedroia’s ass.

by GatorSphere on Sep 4, 2009 9:16 AM EDT reply actions  

I've always thought this was dumb

Many people share your pet peeve, personally I like typing 5 letters over 9 characters

Embrace Eternity

by Sandy Kazmir on Sep 4, 2009 9:34 AM EDT up reply actions  

I think you need to understand that not everyone thinks like you.

Let me explain. I’m from Tampa, not St. Pete or Clearwater, and when I tell people where I’m from, I say “Tampa”.

I heavily associate the Rays with where I am from. Again, Tampa.

Therefore, I call it my “Tampa” hat. As far as I can tell this is completely reasonable and logical, and it should not bother you in the least.

If this is as extreme a pet peeve as you say, I strongly suggest you think about the ways in which people may come to different conclusions than you do. Describing one’s own personal property, that’s not something that should bug another person so much.

by plasticman on Sep 4, 2009 11:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

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