From DRaysBay headquarters:
On this, the twenty-first day of September in the year two-thousand and ten, we, the DRaysBay staff, do heartily proclaim that henceforth, every September 9th shall be celebrated among the Rays' Faithful as "Great Pumpkin Day", in honor of Dan Johnson's repeated heroic performances for the Tampa Bay Rays.
For in the Rays' need, Dan Johnson (or as he is know in the Kerian tongue, "The Great Pumpkin") has come forth from the great Pumpkin Patch of Obscurity to deliver blow after blow to the Great Enemies, the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees. Great in might and long in pocketbook, these Enemies have plagued the Rays for many a year and have been immune to even the heartiest of assaults, yet none can withstand the stroke of The Great Pumpkin.
For on the ninth of September in the year two-thousand and eight, Dan Johnson arose for the first time, smiting Jonathan Papelbon and casting the Red Sox down into ruin. The Great Enemies cower before his might, and perceiving their weakness, he has attacked with renewed vigor. The Red Sox felt again his blow twice this season - on the twenty-eighth of August and the seventh of September - while the Yankees were felled by him, and him alone, on September the fifteenth.
Long praise the deeds of Dan Johnson! Bane of the Red Sox. Scourge of the Yankees. May the days of The Great Pumpkin be long indeed.
On a serious note, I do want to make this an annual tradition here. Great players go down in the history books, but bit players get forgotten far too often - they live on only as long as fans remember them. Our franchise is young and doesn't have many special moments and memories, but Dan Johnson has created a large portion of them and for that he deserves to be remembered. This holiday won't get you off work or out of school, but I think it's still worth celebrating.
Any other holidays we should create?