9/8 OTTOTD: Surreal, Erotica, Sanctity of the Flesh

i flip on the light that sits above the stairs because i can’t do this in the dark. my boner’s shadow flickers on the steps and creates demonic dick shapes. all warped with evil and becoming longer and twisted and then short and chopped off in an instant, and how have i never noticed the odd shadows created on these steps before. my senses are all tingling and my bone is taught as i hit the top step. and i stop and if my heartbeat could stutter it is stuttering and beating very hard as my hand grasps the cheap faux-brass doorknob. and i feel the steam-and-herbal-essences-excrement mix.
-—

i gulp down the gulp in my throat and i begin to turn the knob and as i do this i notice some pre-cum on the tipslit of my cock. i creak it open so slowly and mom is singing neil diamond so she doesn’t notice and it seems to take me 30 seconds to open the door only 4 inches, and i wish i didnt have to open it anymore as i know there is a creak ing sound about to happen. and i open one more inch and it creaks a bit but not much and i guess this is so because the humiditysteam from the shower has muzzled the metallic bits.
--

the door is now 6 inches now 7 inches wide open and i can now fit my belly and my boner through and there is my mother’s naked silhouette and of course now i get the psycho-movie-flashbacks and i can’t believe this is happening, but there really is no turning back now. even if she saw me now and i got scared and didn’t touch her then she would still be naked and still see me naked with my boner reaching critical mass and i would choose death over life afterward.
-—

this is then that i take a step and gauge the light and whether or not i am casting a shadow on her showercurtain and whether she is looking at me or not i don’t even know. and i have already smelled her herbal essences before i opened the door so i know she is done with her hair and probably her eyes are open, so my heart hits enormous bpm and i gulp before i look up to see where her head is pointing and i think this whole turning my head up from the floor to her eyeline takes me at least 12 seconds though it may have been more.
--

so now my eyes follow her silhouette up to her head and i notice her hands are at her crotch so she must be soaping her vagina or thighs or stomach and i am too sickly to gauge it exactly as my head is starting to feel real light and my heart is thumping harder than my cock. so i finally notice her head is pointed down and the light is directly above me so i am not casting a shadow and she is not noticing me at this point, so i jump.
-—

i jump at the curtain and throw it hard to the rings slide it all the way to the side and their is my stark naked soaped mother and there is my boner and i am so scared that it goes from pre-cum to limp in a split second and she gives me a horrified look and notices my cock and opens her mouth to scream but she is in so much shock that nothing comes out. so i grab her neck harder than i’ve ever grabbed at anything and i squeeze harder with my fingers than i can ever remember squeezing.
-—

and warm water is pelting our flush flesh and the veins on my arms are flooded with strength and i am squeezing the life out of her neck and her pulse. i choose not to look at her eyes because apparently i am not that deranged and my dick is still limp so i am truly not that deranged. i keep telling myself this and in another minute i let go of my mother’s soft neck and at this moment she is more beautiful than i can ever remember. i assure myself that when i was a toddler she wasn’t bad-looking at all and i start to remember pictures where she even looked somewhat pretty.
-—

she is not moving anymore so now the only things in the house moving are me and the water still pelting me from out of the showerhead. i don’t know what to do now as i hadn’t planned much ahead of time. actually i came up the stairs for some reason, but right now i cannot remember. but i know it wasn’t to kill my mother. but what’s done is done so i have created a ton of work for myself. how to frame a murder i have no idea. i have no alibi either and in this moment i feel incredibly stupid and ill-prepared.
-—

so i begin googling old murders and ‘how to frame a murder’ and i wonder which old comics and mystery novels have the best ideas and i wonder how long the police will give me to read comics and research for this role. i decide that i should decide my story within 24 hours and i think of which of my mother’s friends may call and try to talk to her and not a soul is coming to mind. of course there could always be someone out-of-the-blue, but it should be easy to defer a casual call from a non-close compadre.
-—

i am still naked as i slither into her bed because i need to feel how soft her sheets are on my penis flesh. and they are amazingly soft and i wonder why i never bothered to upgrade my sheets in the 12 or so years i have made enough part-time money to do so. i am approaching another boner as i roll around in these sheets and the view from out my mother’s sliding-glass door isn’t helping. how have i never known that a nubile young neighbor-woman shared my mother’s bedroom height. and it is dusk now and her lights are on and she has gotten home from work and is slightly sweaty from the august drive-home-from-work and my bone is now at full attention as i watch her every move and anticipate her next.
-——

President Obama was dead-ass wrong when he said he was OK with the $100 million development. He took the middle-of-the-road approach when he said we have to tolerate other religious views in a free country. I am not with that. Hell, no.

Muslims don’t need to explain their religion to Americans. We can go online to find out about Islam.

It takes a lot to be fired from a school district, but a colostomy bag, a sleeping child and plain incompetence could mean the end of the road for three Pinellas school employees.

School officials are recommending a Pinellas school janitor be fired for allegedly threatening to place a used colostomy bag in a fellow employee’s truck or locker and then bringing one to school.

A Pinellas bus driver might be fired after reportedly failing to notice a sleeping child on her bus until after returning to the bus compound. The driver was disciplined twice before for the same thing.

And school district officials want to fire a clerk who has been written up 11 times in the past three years and called incompetent in a ruling by an administrative judge.

Republicans, good strong policy based Republican are coming back to Crist realizing he was pushed out by the crazy vocal tea party nut cases. They were embrased at first because of their game plan but now most see them as the downfall of the party. Rubio latched on to them and now they will bring him defeat.

This job affords me some incredible opportunities. Being a member of the
FOX 6 Sports team means I’ve been able to witness and report on events
and people that many can only admire from a distance. I never take these
situations for granted and sincerely appreciate being involved in
whatever capacity each permits.
 
Monday marked just the most recent case as I had the unparalleled
privilege to be a part of Aaron Rodgers charity event to benefit the
MACC Fund, a charity towards eradicating childhood cancer and blood disorders.

Scattered throughout the crowd of rabid Packers aficionados, were the
people who I consider the event’s real MVPs. They are the families
who’ve been forced to deal with one of life’s toughest sentences – the
loss of a child.

Those who sprung for the tickets were not disappointed. In a world where
many athletes regurgitate canned and rehearsed responses, the Packers
quarterback was refreshingly candid. Aaron addressed a number of topics
with in-depth, honest reaction – even some that if reprinted and mass
distributed might raise some eyebrows.
 
Aaron stressed the importance of availability and accountability. In his
opinion, it is a player’s responsibility to attend all of the team
activities as they are all intended to better the team as a whole. And
then, similarly, he addressed the importance of taking the
heat/criticism when one falls short of expectations and duties.
 
He is never nervous to take the field. Aaron is supremely confident in
the preparation he’s put in during the week leading up to Sunday’s match
up. The way the 2009 season ended was disappointing but his
self-confidence was not affected by the outcome. One of the toughest
realizations was that that combination of players would never take the
field together again. He likened the team to a family and admitted that
conflict can and does occasionally exist but they try to handle such
situations with maturity and civility.
 
He talked music and his love for tunes at a young age revealing that his
mom used to sing and play lullabies and country music when he was a
child. Aaron’s record label Suspended Sunrise is a product of this
passion but also a contingency plan for life after football. His
favorite song is Ben Harper’s ‘Forever’ and he’s envious of John Mayer’s
guitar skills though not his tabloid reputation. He appreciated my
affinity for Keith Urban but gave the audience a thumbs-down when I
mentioned fellow country crooner Kenny Chesney.
 
His favorite book is The Bible and he tries to read it every day not
just when life’s challenges and struggles surface.
 
His favorite movie is The Princess Bride which he admits he’s caught flack for
but says he and his childhood friends can recite every line from the film and it is
simply a great story.

Rodgers’ answers to questions on this night were certainly admirable. And I
honestly didn’t think I could respect Aaron more. But I was wrong.
 
My friend, the father of that young girl who passed, was there that
night. He was one of several attendees brought up on stage where he caught
a football thrown by the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers.

He asked Aaron to sign the football he’d caught. He wondered if
he’d make it out to his daughter. It isn’t shocking that Rodgers
obliged. What caught me off guard was the dedication he made. It wasn’t
until after Aaron left that I first saw the autograph… and the simple
yet sweet message that brought tears to this father’s eyes:
“To Cheri the angel. Save me a spot. – Aaron Rodgers”
 
I hope that Packers fans realize how lucky they are to have such an
upstanding young man leading their team on the field every weekend. I
hope they appreciate the challenges that were thrust upon him and
acknowledge the maturity with which he handled them. I hope they stand
behind the kid and respect him not only for his incredible talent but
for his intelligence and honesty, poise and compassion.
 
My job has afforded me the chance to watch Aaron Rodgers play football
for the last few seasons. But I am truly thankful for the opportunity to
see the other side of this impressive young man. And pass on some of
what I witnessed to you.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/watch-amazing-race-contestant-has-watermelon-explode-against-her-face/

I would like to thank the people that had guts enough to go where they had no business to steal a watermelon.
Most grocery stores sell melons, but it was cheaper to steal than to pay for one.
The watermelon was checked all the time to see when it would be time to take it off the vine. The thief thought I would not miss it and they may as well take it.
I never got to see how good it tasted. I hope the thief did.
Next year, get seeds to plant and grow your own watermelon and you won’t have to steal from somebody in your neighborhood. It’s kind of low to steal just a watermelon. Only God knows what else they have been stealing and what else they might steal.

If you said Marilyn Manson, well you’re kind of a loser.

Why do we have a bye week in Week 1?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKlpMxBX-jk&feature=player_embedded

OLDSMAR — Stacy Beauchamp woke up Wednesday to someone rubbing her neck.

It was after 2 a.m., and a strange man was in the room with her. The 24-year-old told Pinellas deputies she screamed, which woke up her boyfriend, Ramon Munoz.

Munoz, 25, confronted the man, who ran out the front door of the apartment at 124 Loblolly Court. The couple called 911, and deputies responded.

One of them was Deputy Michael Kilian with his canine partner, Axel. The dog tracked the suspect’s scent to an area south of the apartment building near a lake. The man was lying on the grass.

Deputies arrested Andres Barreiro, 22, of Oldsmar and charged him with burglary of an occupied dwelling, felony possession of a controlled substance, felony possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was in the Pinellas County Jail on Wednesday morning in lieu of $17,000 bail.

The couple’s children, a 5-year-old girl and 1-year-old boy, were also in the apartment during the burglary. No one was injured, deputies said.

BROOKSVILLE — A 27-year-old Orange County man was sentenced to life in prison Monday afternoon for his role in the 2007 robbery and shooting at Boyett’s Grove in Spring Lake.

Adrian House was convicted of two counts of principal to robbery with a firearm. A six-person jury took little more than an hour to reach its verdict.

According to authorities, House, Damion Childs and Willie Cliatt III burst into the citrus attraction on Spring Lake Highway on April 25, 2007, and robbed the owners at gunpoint.

James Oleson, one of the co-owners, was shot in the chest during the robbery. Oleson was seriously injured but eventually recovered.

In a plea deal, Childs, whom authorities said was the shooter, was sentenced to 25 years in prison for his involvement in the robbery. Cliatt was fatally shot by police in Orlando four months after the shooting at Boyett’s Grove.

i live out here in austin, tx, and presale playoff tickets go on sale next week. i’m trying to figure out the odds the rays play here first round, and hence whether i should purchase tickets.

my first question is does anyone have experience this type of thing? do you just buy tickets for “home games 1-3” hoping that they play home games? or do you buy for specific dates? do you get a refund if some games aren’t played?

right now it looks like ALE = 1 seed
minny = 2 seed
tx = 3 seed
WC = 4 seed

am i right that it’s usually 1v4, 2v3?i have this idea in my mind thatyou can’t play a team in your own division in the ALDS, so it would be 1v3, 2v4, is that right?

if that’s the case, we need to win the division to play TX 1st round, but we would have home field advantage, so only games 3 and 4 would be played here in TX.

is all this correct?

cause that’s what’s finna happen

ST. PETERSBURG — Police are looking for a man they say robbed two banks Tuesday afternoon.

The man went to the Bank of America branch at 5701 38th Ave. N at 2:20 p.m., police said. He gave the teller a note that implied he had a weapon and demanded cash. After getting the money, he left the bank on foot.

No weapon was seen during that robbery.

Pinellas Park police said the same man wearing different clothes robbed the Bank of America branch at 10200 66th St. N. No weapon was seen during that robbery either, police said.

The robber was described as a white man in his 20s, 5 feet 7 with dirty blond hair. He was last seen wearing a maroon shirt with a logo down the side, possibly American Eagle. The suspect also had on light blue jeans, a white baseball cap turned backward and aviator mirrored sunglasses. He also was carrying a black bag.

Anyone with information can call (727) 893-7780 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-873-8477.

the hoff wrote:
He was probably black.