"Select Your Individual Journey": Joe Maddon's Big Night
Note: I have been asked by the fine people at ChooseCo. to kindly point out that "this is not a Choose Your Own Adventure book but an interactive gamebook which was inspired by Choose Your Own Adventure." Consider yourselves informed.
Welcome, Kids. This weekend it's time to play a little game. Similar to last year's "Moments with Maddon" scenarios, I have created a "Select Your Individual Journey" game where you star as Joe Maddon! Will you make the right decision and win the game and maybe even the World Series, or will you utterly blow it and ruin the franchise with your sabermetric, Merlot-sipping insanity? The selections (and consequences) are yours to make. Do you have what it takes to be Joe Maddon?
I should note that this is a work of pure fiction and, depending on where you are employed, there might be some NSFW-ish stuff depending on what path you choose. By my calculations, there are nine different endings, so see if you can find them all.
Without further ado, let's begin: after the jump
July 18th, 2011 - Yankees @ Rays. CC Sabathia vs. David Price.
It's the bottom of the fifth inning of this scoreless game at the Trop. There are no outs and B.J. Upton has just singled with a sharp groundball past Yankees 2B Robinson Cano. Kelly Shoppach is out with back spasms. John Jaso steps up to the plate, he has a keen look in his eye, like this is the moment for something special... or maybe he's just hungry. On deck is Reid Brignac before the lineup rolls over. Sabathia's move has been known to cause Upton trouble at first and catcher Francisco Cervelli has been sharp defensively behind the dish tonight.
As Maddon, do you:
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Pink Pony whaa...
Awww man, now I need to go back and try to find that one too. My favorite was the actual green monster, from the green monster ending.
Well, pack in folks; Jones just won DRaysBay.
You can leave your articles by the door; we’re done here.
A DRaysBay writer from Cubs Stats and Twitter @BradleyWoodrum
Agreed...it's an absolute masterpiece.
We had a good run, but I guess that’s it.
I love Casey Fossum. Now try and take me seriously.
by Steve Slowinski on Feb 12, 2011 9:52 AM EST up reply actions
um...wow
I didn’t realize just how much I was looking forward to the season. Or how much I missed Choose Your Own Adventure books! Very well done.
Regressing to the mean streets of St. Pete
by stpetelawyer on Feb 12, 2011 10:20 AM EST via mobile reply actions
As I sit here working on my madlib style story, it just lost its luster
I was a nerd and once wrote CYOA stuff on my Atari 800 computer using BASIC back in middle school.
by Jason Collette on Feb 12, 2011 10:21 AM EST reply actions
This is an amazing confession
Follow Me on Twitter @FreeZorilla
by FreeZorilla on Feb 12, 2011 10:27 AM EST up reply actions
And you thought Greg Kite's elbow was accidental?
Follow Me on Twitter @FreeZorilla
by FreeZorilla on Feb 12, 2011 10:39 AM EST up reply actions
I'm 6'4" and held a 6'11" stiff to 3 buckets and blocked his shot.
It’s my Al Bundy 4 TD sports moment
by Jason Collette on Feb 12, 2011 10:41 AM EST up reply actions
Best post in Internet history
Would have also accepted this for a title:
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Code-Jonah-Choose-Adventure/dp/0553128191
Thank you Sir for this.
I shake my head whilst smiling and laughing at this absurd genius. Keep running off at a tangent, it’s brilliant.
I ended up drinking $12 Merlot at the Pink Pony. BUT I WON THE GAME
www.espn1040.com, www.theprocessreport.com, www.bloombergsports.com Twitter @trancel
by Tommy Rancel on Feb 12, 2011 11:25 AM EST via mobile reply actions
Just got the same one.
This is awesome.
If John Jaso somehow strikes out, it means you didn’t do your job right as an umpire.
by raysrule44 on Jul 9, 2010 8:37 PM CDT
Do not order the special...
www.espn1040.com, www.theprocessreport.com, www.bloombergsports.com Twitter @trancel
by Tommy Rancel on Feb 12, 2011 11:32 AM EST via mobile reply actions
fair warning
this is what happened to Grant on McCovey Chronicles when Choosco found out about a similar article.
Mark DeRosa, still existing.
Hahahahaha
The caller said the boy, after removing the bulb from its socket, left the building and threw the bulb on the ground. When the bulb broke, the caller said the boy screamed "I am going to deem your kids as a POS"
by Top Gun Numba 1 on Feb 12, 2011 11:55 AM EST up reply actions
So, I just have to change it to make it a story about Shin Soo Choo placing a personal ad for golden showers...
Choo’s Urine Ad Venture, anyone?
OH NO!!!
Quick, change all the text that says “C-hoo.se? y our*ad-ventur.e” and make it CYOAX or something, before some googling intern makes you take it down!!! It’s the weekend, so maybe you still have time.
by XrayYankeeZulu on Feb 12, 2011 12:05 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
CBJones= Greatest writer on this site.
People stop this dance, Say damn this persons fascinatin'
We blowin' dro up in the air, You smell it?
That's the fragrance, I got the focus, got the heart
And I got the patience
No offense to the others.
People stop this dance, Say damn this persons fascinatin'
We blowin' dro up in the air, You smell it?
That's the fragrance, I got the focus, got the heart
And I got the patience
Appreciate it,
but if I could do a fraction of what these guys do with, you know, actual coverage and relevant statistical information, I would write that instead.
I wouldn’t have been able to make the first few scenarios of this even quasi-plausible without the knowledge gleaned from the other authors (and many commenters) on this site.
THis is outstanding work, Jonesy,
I kneel before you and submit that you are the greatest in the land.
by Andy Hellicksonstine on Feb 12, 2011 12:36 PM EST reply actions
Seriously?
You have options for Maddon going to a strip club after the game? and getting a stripper pregnant?
Show some respect.
Yea CBJ, show some respect for strippers. They don't all get preggo.
by DaPriceIsRight on Feb 12, 2011 1:17 PM EST up reply actions
Gator's b****es better be usin' Jimmies!
A DRaysBay writer from Cubs Stats and Twitter @BradleyWoodrum
i'm sure his wife and kids would appreciate it.
that said, good work! the Manny from outerspace bit was hysterical
Especially Chastity's kid,
Without that choice it would have never been born.
I think the One True Joe Maddon would have probably ended up On the roof, too.
by CBJones on Feb 14, 2011 8:14 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I want to add, the cover is a stroke of brilliance.
Especially love which number book this is.
I love Casey Fossum. Now try and take me seriously.
by Steve Slowinski on Feb 12, 2011 2:31 PM EST reply actions
Haha just noticed that. Well done meat guy
The caller said the boy, after removing the bulb from its socket, left the building and threw the bulb on the ground. When the bulb broke, the caller said the boy screamed "I am going to deem your kids as a POS"
by Top Gun Numba 1 on Feb 12, 2011 5:06 PM EST up reply actions
So apparently...
…Manny is an alien and I’ve become a player / manager making a push for the WS. But, hey, I beat the Waynkees…
STOP RUINING THE BOOK.
People stop this dance, Say damn this persons fascinatin'
We blowin' dro up in the air, You smell it?
That's the fragrance, I got the focus, got the heart
And I got the patience
Waynkees
The caller said the boy, after removing the bulb from its socket, left the building and threw the bulb on the ground. When the bulb broke, the caller said the boy screamed "I am going to deem your kids as a POS"
by Top Gun Numba 1 on Feb 13, 2011 9:50 AM EST up reply actions
Great stuff CB.
Not to Hijack your thread.

your genius is unrelenting.
like Joyce.
…not Matt.
Original visitors' friend in the Lancaster County area!
Tremendous! I wish I had half the creativity to do something like this. Kudos!
Topper rarely shows his ignorance, but today is a golden day
Hell yeah it is.

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