You Kill Elliot Johnson and Flee to Mexico

via farm4.static.flickr.com

It's three years later and you're sitting on a beach in the small Mexican town known to the locals as Tierra de los Muertos.  Life is different, but good.  You bought a small plot of land and cultivate some innovative Mexican wine.  You trade with the locals for food and necessities.  Life is simpler.  You've had to forget baseball...mostly.  You've been teaching a young boy named Felipe a few things.  He's a raw talent, but he has potential.

You've even met a woman.  Catalina.  She's a sweet woman, who took pity on you and your inability to speak Spanish.  Remember when you told her you loved her with all your cabeza?  She just laughed and laughed.  Maybe you should finally ask her to marry you.  You even bartered a whole barrel of wine to Ernesto for a small diamond ring.  Not like she'd need one, but that's why you love her, right?  Maybe--

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!

The ground begins to shake causing you to drop the ring in the sand.  The sky has turned an eerie green color and it seems to be coming closer.  Wait a second.  That's not the sky... it's Johnny Gomes!

Gomesragehulk_medium

In full-on GomesRage, he charges.  You are unable to avoid him as he shoulder-checks you 30 feet into a palm tree.

Gomes is standing above you.

He speaks with bellowing ferocity, "Gomes like Longoria.  Gomes want revenge!  Gomes SMAAAAAAASH!"

In the final milliseconds before Gomes' fists pulverize your head, you think of your sweet Catalina and the lonely diamond ring, truly a solitaire, sitting on the beach.  You also look back on your life and think:

What Could I have Done Differently?

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