Welcome back to This Week in Sun Sports, kids. As always, we'll be looking at the oddities of the Rays broadcasts from this past week. Anything from the announcing, to a crazy video segment, to the fans in the stands. If it's on Sun Sports, we see it. Because--like Jon Snow and his Brothers on the Wall--we're always watching.
This week covers Tuesday, April 24th - Saturday, April 28th. If you missed last week's, you can find it here.
Tuesday, April 24th
We've got a short week in terms of games, with Monday being an off day, and Sunday night's game being on ESP-N Your Face. But, with that extra time, we've passed that savings along to you! What?
We begin in the bottom of the eighth inning when the crew spotted some underage congealed meat inhalation: (h/t to Collette, Space Johnson, Paul Ellis, Ryan Gilliss, M.J.R., jwex50, and Sandy Kazmir for spotting this in the GDT. How each commenter referred to this event says a lot about them, I think.)
Yes, this little urban achiever is pretending to smoke a hot dog. I suppose there is a degree of innocence in this as he's too young or naive to realize how the action of 'smoking meat' could be perceived in any other way than 'cool.' I mean, what's cooler than smoking a stogie and occasionally chewing on it? Grandpa does it all the time.
Of course, Brian Anderson and Dewayne Staats were not silent on this matter. Between the fits of laughter, they delivered these gems:
BA: Check the ID down there. Heyooo. That's aggressive.
DS: Tampa Bay heritage.
BA: And by the way, you tell 'em the game's not over yet. You fire that thing up when it's over.
BA: That's so wrong on so many levels
DS: That's a young BA right there. I could see you doing that.
BA: My seats were never that good
Notice how BA doesn't deny the accusation, he just deflects it. I see a future in politics.
Referring to the kid on the left of our picture:
DS: See that young man in the middle. Not succumbing to peer pressure... Although that straw did look suspicious.
I feel like Dewayne is opening up a bit more this season thanks to BA's influence. I'm not saying he's referencing Illicit drugs with that last statement... but... I'll leave that up to your imagination in deference to a DFFP.
More hot dogs, some blasts from #TWSS past, and a very special BA B-Day... after the jump...
Wednesday, April 25th
This was a pretty good day. James Shields was mic'd up in the top of the second inning: (r/a Collette for the gifs)
Here he is giving David Price the ol' massage after Price's CG. Talk about veteran leadership.
Shields was also a cool cat in some Joe Maddon replica sunglasses:
Don the shades. Hat wiggle. Talk to the hand.
That's how it's done.
In the bottom of the second, Elliot Johnson finally looked good with a bat in his hands. A real live bat, that is. Unfortunately, MLB.tv is having issues with that particular moment of that particular game so there is no screencap or gif right now. Let's just say, David Price, like most pitchers, was not pleased by the presence of the bat, and, while we don't have audio, I want you to imagine the highest-pitched, girliest squeal you can think of coming from his lips as he ran away.
If anyone has a gif or 'cap, let me know and I'll include it.
Thursday, April 26th
Today marked Brian Anderson's birthday (also: Sean Rodriguez and Pam Iorio). In honor of the southpaw's 40th, Brandon Allen hit a walk-off homer and the Rays swept the Angels. It was an unforgettable game.
Speaking of unforgettable, let's flashback to the first ever edition of 'This Week in Sun Sports' and hear what BA had to say about his birthday that year:
FLASHBACK- Thursday, April 4th, 2011
Some amazing group of kids made this poster for Dewayne Staats. Brian Anderson had a few choice words:
And how about this, De-Wayne. Happy Early Birthday? Were you trying to sneak that by us?
...And, here's the best one. I wonder if you can detect the sadness in BA's words:
I can't believe you tried to sneak it by us. Now, I was able to sneak my birthday by everybody. Yeah, five-holed the whole group, no one even knew. You were trying to do the same thing, and you got busted by kids. That's what makes it funny.
I don't know about you, but I'm detecting a little jealousy from BA, here. When someone five-holes a ball, that's a mistake. It's a fairly egregious error. So, when BA says the group "five-holed" his birthday, he's saying it's their fault. E, staff. And when a group of kids remembers Staats' b-day early, then that's just salt on the wound.
Well, BA's stink must have raised a few eyebrows because it seemed like the whole broadcast was devoted to the former pitcher. It began with a Trivia Question in the top of the second inning:
What's the deal showing the Golden Rays guy when asking about BA's 40th? What are the fine-fellows at Sun Sports trying to say? The question was quickly answered with the presentation of a birthday cake:
(Note: This is not the last time we'll see Todd Kalas give BA this look while presenting him with food. Stay tuned.)
That's a fine lookin' cake courtesy of BA's mom back in Geneva, OH. BA seems genuinely happy with the situation and hugs it out with Dewayne:
BA was clearly surprised:
BA: I thought I was gonna get it past you again. It's been very quiet around here.
Nope, BA, the crew didn't five-hole it this year, but methinks you're going to wish they did...
First, it was the text poll. I believe 'TB4' won. What was your pick? I'm a fan of 'TB5' AKA "Brian Anderson, his crew-cut, and his white turtleneck are in a cult." This is where BA began to get worried:
BA: You guys remember that move I said I was making in my life? There is not a chance in Hades that it can be made now.
Maybe he was looking into politics like I mentioned earlier. Maybe it was settling down with a lady friend. Either way, when a guy says "not a chance in Hades" he is quite clearly in a confounding kerfuffle.
Next came the childhood pics:
BA was critical of his football skills, here:
I mean, nice idea with the three-point, but you're getting ready to kick, buddy.
Then, referring to the sweeping:
Aren't there laws against that?
In the top of the third, they got a bit younger:
Looking at the picture on the right, BA couldn't remember why he had casts as a baby:
BA: I wonder why? Mom and dad said, 'It was because the doctor..." Maybe I just got out of line at a young age.
Dewayne clearly doesn't want to go down the road to child beating. He'll talk about tweens with suspicious straws, but no broken babies. So, he changes the subject...but, it doesn't help:
DS: Good cake though.
BA: The cake is good.
DS: I know you were disappointed there was no girl jumping out of this cake. Just wait till you get to Fort Worth
BA: One can only hope. Hopefully she didn't tune in, after those pictures, it's over.
A HA! So that 'big move' Anderson was talking about did involve a woman! Good luck, BA, you're gonna need it.
Later, there were some more flashback pics of things we covered last year. (BA faces about halfway down the page).
In the fifth inning, the crew did a 'finger point comparison' of BA from 2003-2011. BA talked briefly about the fingers, but also claimed:
There's the other big difference.
Those are his doodles, not mine.
We head back to the fourth inning for some non-BA action.
Aww, that's sweet. That kid just caught a foul ball (actually his second) and his dad's giving him a proud hug. What a sweet, unique moment. Later, in the fifth inning:
He's hugging him on camera again? Now I'm a bit freaked out. In a stadium filled with baker's dozens of fans, you're going to randomly catch this guy hugging his son twice in two innings? Is this family the most hug-tastic family ever and haven't stopped hugging for the entire game? Has the camera man been fixed on them and we're just being cut in on the times they hug? Does the dad know when he's on camera and is competing for a "World's #1 Dad" Award? Someone, somewhere is paying too much attention to this...
And it's probably me.
Friday, April 27th
Not much from today, just maybe some poor product placement in Texas:
I'm thinking Sweet Baby Ray should have waited until after the Rays left town to advertise behind home plate. No better way to drive away business this week than to be named for the team that just took two of three from the hometown heroes in Arlington.
Saturday, April 28th
Yes, we're back to hot dogs:
I forgot what inning this happened in, because just the sight of the frankenshlong has congealed my brain into mush. I feel worse for the poor souls who had to eat this doppelfurter:
This is another "What is everyone looking at?" picture. BA is staring in fear at this two-foot-long future-Syfy-movie-of-the-week (DinoCroc vs. Congestive Heart Failure?). Staats is probably just looking at the monitor to help frame the shot, but I'd like to think he's looking to God for guidance with this
mana meat from heaven. And TK--remember I told you we'd see this face again--is looking at Brian Anderson. He's not saying anything, but his eyes are screaming, "You don't look at it, you eat it."
Before they dug in, BA had this to say:
Probably a good thing we're not doing the game tomorrow.
And no one ever saw them again...
Anyhoo, that's it for This Week in Sun Sports! Thanks again to everyone who sent stuff in this week. If you see something during the game that would fit "This Week in Sun Sports," please help us out and tag it (#TWSS) in the GDT or email a description or screencap (including inning and outs) to ThisWeekInSS@gmail.com. See you next week!