I propose a new Sabremetric: Value Over Pat Burrell. This statistic would assign a utilitarian value over paying 9 million dollars to a guy who bats worse than people missing limbs and chromosomes. The utilitarian value would be completely arbitrary and impossible to compare making it  better than most stats reported on this site. Some examples might be:

1. Getting kicked in the nuts, shattering a testicle - VOPB - 2.0 - This particular injury will garner you the sympathy of the male members of the human species, and sympathy and perhaps curiosity from females, thus resulting in a net value over the substantial pain and medical cost of treatment for this type of injury. This of course yields 2 utilitarian units more than paying that useless sack of crap Pat Burrell 9 million dollars to stand there and watch strikes pass him by while dreaming of the time he banged britney spears.

2. Losing a winning lottery ticket - (less than 9 million in value) - 1.0 - Believe it or not it is actually 1 utilitarian point better to lose a winning lottery ticket than to pay 9 million for Pat Burrell to imitiate a tball player at the plate. You know you actually won something of value when you determined the ticket to be a winner. Friedman believed he was getting something of value when he signed Pat Burrell, but we all know that has been a gigantic waste of time. Sure the dejection of knowing you've misplaced the ticket hurts, but you only suffer it once while Rays fan must watch this human excrement at least 3 times a night, on average 5 times a week for the next 6 months.

3. Giving your life savings to Bernie Maddoff  - 3.2 - You will net 3.2 utilitarian points more in life by giving everything you have to Bernie Maddoff instead of paying a baseball parasite like Pat Burrell 9 million dollars to pick his nose like a drooling mongoloid at the plate. Again, the reasoning is similar to losing the lottery ticket. You've given the money to Bernie Maddoff on the promise he would make you rich, and then watched in silent disgust as he was sent to die in prison. That money is long gone and you know it. Pat Burrell, however, will continue to remind you how much you wasted on his ridiculous contract for the remainder of the season, while you simultaneously worry  how you will keep  Carl Crawford, whose VOPB cannot be measured due to the assymptotic nature of such a graph.

This post sure sounded funnier in my head and I will likely come across better when i call rich herrera to remind him of this new sabremetric after every subsequent game. But keep in mind reading crappy posts on the internet is substantially better than paying 9 million for pat burrell to collect dust at the plate because at least reading posts takes effort, which Pat Burrell hasn't shown in about 16 months.

Can anyone tell me if there is free wifi at the trop? i was thinking of buying an ipad and the thought of having the mlb app to keep track of the stats plus listen to the radio broadcast would be pretty cool. also, being able to contribute to the GDT live from the game would also be a big perk too right? sorry if this isn't baseball related enough but i appreciate the help.

thanks guys, happy baseball and go rays!

mv

AAA Durham Bulls

Jeff Bennett and Richard De Los Santos combined for an uninspiring effort. At the plate Fernando Perez was 2-5 with a triple and two steals and Chris Richard hit his first home run of the year in a 2-4 effort.

AA Montgomery Biscuits

On the road to recovery from Tommy John Surgery, Jake McGee made his 2010 debut in solid fashion pitching five shutout innings allowing three hits and two walks while striking out three. More impressive than the strikeout total is the eight whiffs induced in his 70 pitches. It may be telling that all eight swinging strikes occurred in his first three innings or 42 pitches. Per Stacy Long, McGee was sitting at 91 MPH while touching 94. Justin Garcia and Paul Phillips finished off the 1-0 shutout going two innings a piece with three and two strikeouts respectively.

A+ Charlotte Stone Crabs

Joseph Cruz had a mediocre debut with the Crabs giving up four hits, including a home run, while walking four. In total he surrendered three runs in his five innings of work. The bullpen did an excellent job picking him up as Neil Schenk and Josh Satow combined for four shutout innings. Schenk  struck out four, and gave up one hit and one walk in his two innings. Satow also gave up one hit and one walk while striking out three in his two innings. Reid Fronk continued his sizzling start to the season going 2-4 with a triple. He is now 5-9 on the year.

A Bowling Green Hot Rods

Shane Dyer, Matthew Stabelfield, and Scott Shuman combined on a one run effort void of any standout peripherals. A pair of outfielders, Chris Murrill and Brett Nommensen are off to fantastic starts to the season. Murrill is 7-14 with a double, while Nommensen is 7-12 with a double, a triple, a walk and two stolen bases.

At least we weren't no-hit, but that was a depressing game to watch. Vote for the top players for the game here.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/a/aubremi01.shtml Everyone knows our chances of resigning Los are slim, and devoting the kind of money he will command is probably not a good idea for the Rays anyway.  Our in house options at first are not great. We can move Zobrist there, and go with Joyce in RF and Rodriguez/Brignac at 2B, assuming we keep JB.  That also means that Jennings has to be healthy enough to play LF everyday. But Joyce has not proven he is ready yet, and Jennings has yet to show he can stay healthy. Plus it seems like a waste to put Zobrist at 1B when he has the arm and speed to anywhere on the diamond. Aybar could potentially play full time, but he is never going to hit 30 home runs or drive in 100.  We do not have someone in the minors who can fill step in for Los, at least not next year (Sweeney is not ready).  It really seems like we will need to make a move to fill the 1B spot next year. 

We know the Rays are not going to pay a lot for a free agent 1B who can match Pena's production. That means the only hope we have is finding someone who is seriously undervalued but with the right opportunity could break out. When we acquired Los, he was a former first round pick that had bounced around in a few organizations but never really found a home. Mike Aubrey has a similar story, although he has a lot more injury problems than Los did. Still, he was formerly a top rated prospect (won the Golden Spikes at Tulane) who has good power potential if he can stay healthy. Aubrey recently cleared waivers and was sent to Norfolk. He played college ball at Tulane with AF, so the front office should have plenty of info about him. He is stuck in Baltimore with little chance of making the show this year, but he has shown that he is a capable major league 1B when healthy. We need someone to step in next year, why not him?

I can't imagine we would need to give up much for him, hell we could have claimed him off waivers if we wanted. Here is a guy who we can get for cheap and still has potential to be a star in the bigs if given the right opportunity. Is there any reason we shouldn't take a chance on this guy?

A quick rundown of some highlights from 4/9

AAA Durham Bulls

Third baseman Dan Johnson went 3-4 including his first home run of the year. 1st baseman Ryan Shealychipped in a 2-3 effort withtwo doubles and a walk in his Durham debut. Heath Rollins took the loss in relief allowing a pair of runs in 2.1 innings of work.

AA Montgomery Biscuits

AneuryRodriguez made the start going four innings allowing four runs on six hits with a walk and two strikeouts. The story of the game was the triumphant return of the 2009 MVP of the Class A+ Stone Crabs Drain Downs from a fractured skull. Downs pitched four dominant innings of relief allowing one hit while striking out five. He generated an awesome 11 whiffs on 44 pitches while inducing four groundouts to two flyouts. The lone hit was a groundball single to rightfield. First baseman Matt Fields went 2-6 with his first home run of the year and Cody Ciprianowent 1-4 with two walks.

A+ Charlotte Stone Crabs

NIck Barnese had a fine 2010 debut going 6.1 innings. Through six innings Barnese gave up a single back to the pitcher and one batter reached on error. In the seventh he walked one and gave up a two run home run. Barnese struck out five. Matt Sweeney hit a home run for the second consecutive evening while also drawing a walk. Reid Fronk hit his first dinger of the season on his way to a 2-3 night including being beaned.

A Bowling Green Hot Rods

Young Jason McEachern went 4.2 innings allowing three runs on five hits and two walks while striking out four. 2009. The University of Tampa's Alex Koronis, the Rays' 2009 11th round pick, made an impressive full seasondebut striking out four in two innings of relief with a walk as his only blemish. Chris Murrill and Brett Nommensen each went 2-4 with a double.

Lefty Darin Downs made his first appearance since being hit in the head with a line drive in his second appearance with Montgomery last season. He spent time in an Intensive Care Unit in serious condition and his fiancee was told he might not regain the ability to speak. Well, his road to recovery led him to the mound tonight, where he registered four fantastic innings: 1 hit, no runs, no walks, 5 strikeouts.

He wasn't able to make a talent Biscuits rotation, but considering how good he was with Charlotte last year and his great ining in relief tonight, it's not crazy to think of him a future bullpen piece(being left-handed surely doesn't hurt). That's obviously getting ahead of things, because for right now, it was just great to see him back on the field.

A St. Pete Times article on Downs from September: http://www.tampabay.com/sports/baseball/rays/for-tampa-bay-rays-prospect-darin-downs-climb-back-to-the-mound-is-steep/1037196

via www.fangraphs.com

This won't be a daily feature but with all the aces taking the hill last night, a recap seems in order.

AAA Durham Bulls

Jeremy Hellickson squared off against Chris Tillman in the night's premiere pitching matchup. Hellickson did not disappoint allowing one run in five innings while striking out six. He allowed one run on four hits, a walk, and a hit batsman. Hellickson did his usual Houdini whiff-generation act inducing 16 whiffs in just 85 pitches for a robust 18.8 whiff %. The swinging strikes did not end with Hellickson as Joaquin Benoit struck out 6 in two innings of relief including 12 swinging strikes of his own in 37 pitches. Consecutive days or not, 37 quality pitches will play with the Rays. At the plate, Matt Joyce, Hank Blalock, Joe Dillon, Chris Richard and Justin Ruggiano all successfully reached base twice.

AA Montgomery Biscuits

Alex Torres went four innings allowing one run on four hits and two walks. He struck out two while generating five whiffs in 69 pitches. Paul Phillips pitched threw two perfect innings of relief with one strikeout. Matt Gorgen struck out the side in the 9th but took the loss in the 10th inning. In total he allowed three hits, a walk,a hit batsman, and three strikeouts. He induced six whiffs in 39 pitches. Offensively, Cody Cipriano led the way going 2-3 with a triple and a walk.

A+ Charlotte Stone Crabs

Matt Moore went three innings striking out four with just one walk while alloweing one run on four hits. The most exciting news from this game is Matt Sweeney, acquired in the Scott Kazmir deal, went 2-3 with a walk, double, and home run. Outfield prospect Kyeong Kang reached base successfully in all four plate appearances going 3-3 with a walk. Marquis Fleming struck out four in two innings of relief while allowing just one baserunner. Zach Quate who bypassed Bowling Green picked up his first save going two innings with two strikeouts and one hit allowed. 

A Bowling Green Hot Rods

Alex Colome had a mixed debut. On one hand, he struck out six batters in just three innings of work. However, he also allowed six runs on six hits including two doubles, a triple, and a home run. He also walked one.  Jake Sullivan,  the 2009 22nd round pick, pitched a perfect eigth inning with two strikeouts. Sullivan is a 6'5 l23 year-old lefty. He's old for the SAL, but a nice debut nonetheless. Outfielder Chris Murrill went 3-5 hitting in the leadoff slot. Murrill had 29 steals last year with Hudson Valley. 

Notes:

 -In total the four teams struck out an impressive 44 hitters last night (Durham 14, Montgmery 7, Charlotte 12, and Bowling Green 11).

-As Tommy Rancel notes the Rays signed Logan Kensing to a minor league deal.

http://comeyoumastersofwar.wordpress.com/2010/04/08/how-good-was-the-springfield-power-plant-team/

I just saw this over on BTB and wanted to file it under Friday Funnies.