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Maybe the Farns?

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From the NY Post:

The Yanks are interested and Tampa likes Scott Proctor and, believe it or not, if the Yanks are willing to eat money, Kyle Farnsworth.

I am SURE Farns would love to play for us, SURE I say.

Seriously though, please, for the love of God, if you exist, and RATW has stated you don't, please let us get these two guys. Hell we could throw in Stokes, Cantu, Cocky the Rooster, Nutts the Dog, and Camp for these two.