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Let's be honest: it would be pretty easy to vituperate tonight's performances by the starting pitchers, but neither you nor I really care to relive that hell. Instead I want to revisit my thoughts during Evan's plate appearance in the 7th.

First Pitch: Evan is generally good. This at-bat has the possibility for good developments. I look forward to this.
Second Pitch: I wonder how much a giant animatronic mouse would cost?
Third Pitch: Oh. My. God.
Fourth Pitch: I would place it in my back yard and have it nibble on delicious metal shaped like cheese.
Fifth Pitch: GAAAAAAAAAH.
Sixth Pitch: Perhaps call it Mista Whiskas?
Seventh Pitch: YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!

Also, what in the world was going on when he came up with Rihanna blaring in the first? My man crush died a little bit at that point.