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'Shop/Caption Contest: Alex Rodriguez, You Make It Too Easy

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ARLINGTON TX - OCTOBER 22:  Alex Rodriguez #13 of the New York Yankees presumably conducts a public bowel movement during batting practice against the Texas Rangers in Game Six of the ALCS.
ARLINGTON TX - OCTOBER 22: Alex Rodriguez #13 of the New York Yankees presumably conducts a public bowel movement during batting practice against the Texas Rangers in Game Six of the ALCS.

Welcome to yet another exciting round of 'Shop/Caption Contesting! After hours of archive diving and photo-album pilfering, I've acquired the consummate photo of Alex Rodriguez!

Now: Put some words in his mouth, paste his face onto Paris Hilton's dog, or whatever weird s*** you guys want to do!

Last round, I'm proud to announce our winner was a very close and dear friend of mine: Me. You may find my winning entry below the fold.

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(You may need to click it to see its fully animated glory.)