You Take a Seat at the Stage

You slide into an empty seat at the stage. Chastity sees you and her eyes light up with excitement. She puts a bit more 'oomph' in her moves and the crowd appreciates the effort.

As she crawls over to you, you donate a few bucks to the Law School Fund. She responds with a smile and reaches for your... glasses. Your world gets fuzzy as she removes your Hugo Boss specs and dangles them from her finger. What she does with them next is a bit unclear to you, but when she returns them to your face, your vision actually gets fuzzier.

Everything is shiny thanks to the specks of glitter smeared over the lenses and thick black frames. You need to find something to wipe these off with. Where's that damn microfiber cloth? Seriously, those things always go missing. You try to wipe off the lenses with your shirt, but it only makes it worse. And now your shirt is stained. Maybe you could use some club soda to remove it. But, wait--Tonight is $12 Merlot night which means they jack-up the price of club soda due to all the spills. $12 Merlot? Sure, you'll take three. $20 Club Soda? Not on your salary.

The waitress brings you a $12 Merlot and you decide to just sip it as you watch Chastity give you a smoldering look and see (fuzzily) where the night takes you...

Months Later

After losing a heart-breaker to the Orioles, you're designing a lineup for the next game when you hear a knock on your office door. It's Chastity.

"Joe," she says, "I'm pregnant."

Before you consider what lies ahead, you take a moment to look back on your life and the choices you've made and think:

What Could I have Done Differently?