Hath there been a legend more amazing that that of Sam Fuld? Nay. Surely nay.
Yonder photo-graph comes to us from the @RaysRepublic Twitter account. In it we see our season's savior and Lord of Left Field, the Indeed Samuel Fuld. He hath snared and cradled many a lining drive and flying ball, and appears to have grown weary of earth and elected to part from it.
Before he slips through yon clouds into the wonder of the heavens, yea, let us have one Shoptiontest in his honor, commending and commemorating his majesty with supposed quotes that doth make us har-har and stupendous light refractions that doth make him appear, perhaps, riding Paula Deen riding a cat.
Rules of thine contest follow a pattern of such design: