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Rays vs. Blue Jays GDT 1: Odo odo odo

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Bleep, blop, blorp.

Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports, and then some

Laserbreath Wallace rattled the dice. He cupped his hands like a pea pod and shook the dice on his right, above his head, and on his left.

"Just roll the dice." Gumbo folded his arm across his chest and kicked the table with his boot. "You know the roll results are just randomly generated, right? It doesn't matter how long you shake them."

Laserbreath shot the dice across the table.

"Purple dragons." Gumbo slid a finger along the game console. "Do you want to build anything or move your troops?"

Laserbreath dragged a hand across the stubble on his chin. "I want to build a--"

The sound of thunder shook the walls of the bunker. The ground trembled and the dice slipped from the table.

"Wow. What was that?"

"It was close. Maybe a lightning strike?"

The walls rattled again. Laserbreath and Gumbo ran to the nearest window and peeked through the dusty blinds. An old man wearing only a pair of swim trunks stood in the cracked pavement of the parking lot and waved a stick in the air.

"Odo, odo, odo." He chanted in a low rumble and twirled the stick as though he were stirring the sky. And stir the sky did. Gray and black clouds swirled high above the old man. "Odo, odo, odo; a tasty soup bone from me to you."

"Is he looking at us?"

"I think so."

"Odo, odo, odo; delicious cupcakes for a delicious breakfast."

A golden bolt of lightning split the gray sky. It descended like an ax blade onto the parking lot and struck the ground a few steps from the old man.

The heavens filled with Jake Odorizzi. The air dripped with him. Jakes poured from the black clouds, drained down the rusted gutters. Jakes puddled in divots in the parking lot; they landed on the leaves of earth's last green tree and drizzled down its branches. Jake Odorizzis flooded the ramshackle avenues and freeways.

"It's not unlike death," Gumbo said. "It's not unlike that gravy thickness of all life's end. The compounding of moments like a mathematic equation with too many parentheses, the heavy weight of events' propulsions. In a simple way, every moment on earth was leading to this--" he waved a hand towards the Jakes overflowing the parking lot, surrounding the dancing old man "--this final moment. It's like a transition, a death of familiarity, a birth of something new. There is a sense of death about it, but a sense of new beginning -- freshness of life, a whiff of adventure."