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Rays vs. Ice People GDT 1: Ice man cometh

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This is what daily life looks in the White North.

Tom Szczerbowski

Here is an approximation of how fast and furious the 2013 Minnesota Twins are, where

"You need to call somebody! ... No, 9-1-1 is not going to help... It's going into their house."

Who do you call when 9-1-1 won't help? That's a scary question -- if it hadn't already been answered some eons ago by the generations that walked these tepid ice paths before us: