Fortunately for me, I woke up at 3:00 am CT this morning. So I went back to bed during normal working hours, so there's a chance I'll be able to stay awake for tonight's absurd game.
What did I do at 3:00 am? Watch Japanese baseball, of course. It's almost exactly like this:
Except Matt Murton, Randy Messenger, and John Bowker are all stars, and Andruw Jones is a full-time player on the league's best team.