I've hesitated to make this announcement until all of the families and online girlfriends had been notified. It is my sad duty to report that the DRaysBay private plane, purchased thanks to your generous ad clicks, has gone down.
The Bombardier Learjet 85, affectionately referred to as the SandyKaz, crashed on its way from our home base in Boston, Massachusetts to Los Angeles, California, where the staff had planned on researching and revealing a stunning exposè on the departure of Andrew Friedman (pieced together almost entirely from first hand witnesses of his dining habits).
The black box recorder revealed an intense struggle for the controls after the late Daniel "Papi" Russell tore off his Rays hoodie to reveal a sewn together Red Sox/Patriots/Celtics/Bruins jersey and began shouting "this is our bleeping city!"
Ian "Jeets" Malinowski and ScottRod Grauer, known Yankee supporters, were outraged and the confrontation became physical.
There was slapping, there were glasses pulled, Brett even threw his laptop for some reason.
Erik Hahmann, completely absorbed in a very current episode of Deadwood on his iPad, made every effort to shush the crowd, but there would be no shushing.
Allie Kranick, perhaps aware of impending doom or perhaps just wanting to get off the flying nerd bus, had grabbed the only parachute early in the flight and jumped out of the cargo bay. There would be no voice of reason.
Things appeared to escalate to a breaking point, as the sounds of sirens, alarms and shouting were overwhelming. The readings show that the plane had entered a nose dive. The last audible words appeared to come from Steve Kinsella. Chills were felt around the room as those listening heard him utter "It's true. I am Sternfan1."
The wreckage was discovered in San Antonio, where there appears to be a secret Major League Baseball stadium under construction. Perhaps our fallen heroes will have their biggest story be their last.
As many of you have suggested, I will be taking over the reigns of the site and renaming it HatfieldBay.com. Please update your browsers. I plan on having very current new monthly content, sprinkled in with caption contests and lively debates with Over the Monster users. Anime is still not allowed.
Also of note, the Rays signed relief pitcher Michael Kohn. DRaysBay Glory Daze alumni, Tommy Rancel, provides the best coverage of that signing here:
To commemorate our fallen masthead, please post your favorite memory of each writer. You may also describe DRaysBay with the title of a classic novel.