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The Rays Tank: Yeesh, boys

Well this is just nice.
Well this is just nice.
Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

"These notes are too positive -- not at all the impression I wanted to give -- so here's one more. It's 1:25, I'm still awake (and if you're reading this tonight so are you) and the Rays suck." - One Exhausted Editor's Recap

This isn't very fun right now, and I don't really feel the need to rehash last night's kick off to this West Coast road trip.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href=";src=hash">#Rays</a> Maddon: &quot;We got ambushed. We sashayed into the canyon and they were firing from both sides.&quot;</p>&mdash; Marc Topkin (@TBTimes_Rays) <a href="">May 13, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//" charset="utf-8"></script>

And boom goes the dynamite.

Everyone is just awfully quotable in this misery, with Topkin seeming to only find delight in last night's debacle with his wordplay,

So ... maybe the Rays took this Woodstock theme to their trip a little too seriously? In what certainly looked to be the start of a bad trip - or hallucinations of a past one - the Rays were, well, smoked Monday by the Mariners 12-5.

That's enough.

Pregame, Fernando Rodney shared some sentiments about the end of his time with the Rays:

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Just talked to Rodney in <a href=";src=hash">#Mariners</a> clubhouse. Said wanted to return, <a href=";src=hash">#Rays</a> never made offer. Would&#39;ve taken $14-15M over 2.</p>&mdash; Marc Topkin (@TBTimes_Rays) <a href="">May 12, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//" charset="utf-8"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Rodney says he had 2-year offers from <a href=";src=hash">#Mets</a>, <a href=";src=hash">#Orioles</a>, <a href=";src=hash">#Indians</a>. And 1 year from <a href=";src=hash">#Yankees</a>. Got $14 over 2 from <a href=";src=hash">#Mariners</a>.</p>&mdash; Marc Topkin (@TBTimes_Rays) <a href="">May 12, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//" charset="utf-8"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p><a href=";src=hash">#Rays</a> gave Balfour $12M over 2 years.</p>&mdash; Marc Topkin (@TBTimes_Rays) <a href="">May 12, 2014</a></blockquote><script async src="//" charset="utf-8"></script>

But seriously, if this is the way this season is going to go, we have a long four plus months ahead.


- A bright spot in this dismal little stretch? Alex Cobb will begin a minor-league rehab assignment this Saturday, as he tossed four shutout innings and struckout eight in a simulated game yesterday, hitting 90-91 miles per hour on his fastball. His rehab start is expected to be at high Single-A or Triple-A. Bring on the good news!

- Oh wait, bad news for all baseball fans: Jose Fernandez may need season-ending surgery on his right elbow. Ugh.

- ICYMI: Danny defended the bench, in "Blow up the Rays? - Part 1: The Bench."

- Watch your back Puig, Korean baseball players have a thing or ten to show you about what a real bat flip is.

- Dad too busy to play some catch in the backyard? No worries kids, your new robotic arm is ready to go!

- Dave Cameron had a few too many drinks and reimagined baseball.

- "Chuck's gonna get himself kicked."

Charles Barkley, wondering where Solange is:

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