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GDT: Wikipedia is edited exclusively by philosophy majors

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5-game winning streak wooooooo

Joy R. Absalon-USA TODAY Sports

Have y'all played the Wikipedia Philosophy Game? It's really just a way to kill time when you have nothing but an internet connection and a death wish fun. All you do is click on the first blue link on the page that isn't italicized, bolded, "in quotations", or (surrounded by parentheses.) Wikipedia itself even has a page about the game.

You start out thinking that there's no way I can get from The Dukes of Hazard to anything approaching logical thought but soon you're at CBS followed by United States, and from that and Constitution it's basically a hop, skip, and a jump away to philosophy. Even in the most far-out and random topics, it's remarkably easy to get caught on knowledge, and then you're basically stuck in a black hole of liberal arts.

The page for Detroit takes 31 clicks to get to the page for philosophy, but the page for the Detroit Tigers takes only 21. The page for Tampa Bay Rays also takes 31 clicks, but it takes a different route, passing through Indo-European languages and a sub-genus of Homo sapiens before getting caught in the knowledge trap.

Joe Maddon, like the Tigers, also takes 21 links to get to philosophy. This is an omen. Joe Maddon will leave the Neanderthalian Rays for a more philosophically-minded Detroit Tigers team ball club. Meanwhile, the Rays will move to Detroit and will sell the team to CBS. Put all of your money on this outcome. It is assured. Ursula the Temptress is the year's constellation of note and Venus is ascending within its sphere of influence this month, and Venus is the most honest planet, so we've cross-checked it with our astrology there.

all hail glorious venus, roman goddess of hot dorgs and sun