DRB Tweetbag (3/30/15): The Return

Hey, sorry for the radio silence. We've had some health and family calamities in the nomo household over the last few weeks. (We're getting better, thanks.) But one of the big benefits of the hiatus was a lot of time for your questions to accumulate! So, without further adieu, let's dive into the tweetbag.

**Editor's Note: Not a real tweet.

**Author's Note: Gee, thanks for giving the game away so early, Danny. But it's not like the tweetbag overfloweth. And that's okay, cuz I'm good at talking to myself.

So where was I...

Hey, SumDude, I'm glad you asked! Like most people, I like to make some reasonable predictions, and then some unreasonable ones. But this year, I'm not sure what's reasonable. So I'm going with 85 wins. It's not such a daunting number so that if they only win as many as they did last year, I'll be overly disappointed. If they do win 85, I can be kinda happy about that, even if they don't make the playoffs. And of course if they win more, I'll be very happy. But if they win 75, having picked them to win 75 doesn't make me any happier. And if they win 66, ain't nobody happy about that, even if you nailed the prediction.

On the individual side, I think Evan is going to have a big year. Like close to 40 dingers ... taters... um...projectiles leaving the field. (Damn you, AP Style Guide). As for the rest of the infield, I didn't have warm fuzzies about them before the injuries, and I have even less now.The outfield should be fun to watch develop though. In general, I'm looking forward to the year, even if the win expectations are tempered. It'll be fun watching the potential develop. Except the ones that don't. That will suck. But don't think about that now. Everything will be fine! Everyone loves the new format! They will all grow into All-Stars! Can't hear you! Lalalalalala!

Next!

**Editor's Note: Still not a real tweet. You know, we did have one you could have used.

**Author's Note: I know, Danny. I know. Did you read it? Get off my back.

Hey, thanks for the question, fake-Manu. Sadly, feminism hasn't made many inroads into the world of baseball literature. But as a lover of marginalized people, you might be interested in the work of W.P. Kinsella. Though he's best known as the author of Shoeless Joe, which was the basis of the classic film Field of Dreams starring Kevin Costner (I know, right? Remember when people thought he could act?) where Joe Jackson inexplicable bats right handed, he also wrote several other short stories and novels where both baseball and indigenous people play large roles. My personal favorite is The Iowa Baseball Confederacy.

The Iowa Baseball Confederacy tells the story of Gideon Clark, a man on a quest. He is out to prove to the world that the indomitable Chicago Cubs traveled to Iowa in the summer of 1908 for an exhibition game against an amateur league, the Iowa Baseball Confederacy. But a simple game somehow turned into a titanic battle of more than two thousand innings, and Gideon Clark struggles to set the record straight on this infamous game that no one else believes ever happened.

There's also a Chief Drift Away of the Black Hawk Nation, who are using the game to regain control of their land. Also, Teddy Roosevelt shows up. It's a well known fact that no story is not made better without Teddy Roosevelt. All in all, really good, really weird stuff.

Next!

**Editor's Note: Oh, come on! Now you aren't even trying. The Illuminati??? Really??? There's more than 140 characters here, it's not even a good fake tweet.

**Author's Note: Danny, if there is anybody who could tweet more than 140 characters, wouldn't it be the Illuminati?

**Editor's Note: ...

**Author's Note: I'll tell you what, Danny. After this one, I'll use the one tweet we actually got. Will that make you happy?

**Editor's Note: Yes.

**Author's Note: Fine.

Hey, THEIlluminati, thanks for posing such an interesting scenario. We will certainly keep an Eye out for this. Get it? Cuz the Illuminati symbol is an eye???

Nevermind. Let's get this over with.

@d_russ Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Judas rat the Romans while Jesus slept? #drbtweetbag

— Johnny Velcro (@TopGunNumba1) March 13, 2015

Hey, thanks for the question, I guess? Let's take this in parts.

1) Because if it was green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing.

2) Because if it was dry, the soap would never wash off.

3) I assume you mean the time in 1983, when Tampa's own Alberto Judas Pardo ratted to Charlotte O's manager Grady "The Little Roman" Little on Jesus Alfaro for "sleeping" (e.g. tanking) on several plays at short that year? While not the high point of his career, I'd think Pardo's lifetime -11 OPS+ in the majors would be a bigger blemish. Plus, by most accounts, Jesus really could go MIA for days at a time.

And with that, we wrap up this return of the tweetbag. Please (please, please, pleeeeeaaassee) tweet your questions to @DRaysBay and tag it with #drbtweetbag.