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Which Hogwarts house would the Rays be in? We sorted it out for some reason

Also, when does baseball come back?

Ryan Jones

The baseball off-season is the worst. Although we can keep ourselves busy by looking at projections, keeping our twitter feed refreshed to look for trades, or putting together endless lineup combinations, we can still get bored and look into more creative ways to get our baseball fix.

Cue music ~

Pottermore is an official Harry Potter website created by J.K. Rowling, and if you needed that explained to you, bravo. It offers extensive stories and readings of the Harry Potter Universe, and companion interactive sites for every chapter in the franchise.

The main attraction of the website is getting officially sorted into one of the four houses found at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by answering a series of questions. The website asks about 8-10 questions, and based on your answers will sort you into either Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin.

I took the Pottermore house sorting quiz as the persona of the Tampa Bay Rays organization and recorded the questions and answers. The quiz starts out by asking the Month and Year you were born. I said March of 1995, when the Rays were officially announced as an MLB expansion team. Here are the rest of the questions:

Dawn or Dusk: Dusk - most of our games are played at night, so this was an easy answer

If you were attending Hogwarts, which pet would you choose to take with you? Screech Owl.

Other choices were Tabby Cat, Siamese Cat, Ginger Cat, Black Cat or White Cat. Tawny Owl, Screech Owl, Brown Owl,  Snowy Owl or Barn Owl. And Common Toad, Natterjack Toad, Dragon Harlequin Toad or Three Toed Tree Toad.

Originally, I was leaning toward one of the toads because its the closest thing to a Devil Ray, but after reading the description on wikipedia of a Screech Owl, I was sold:

They prefer areas which contain old trees with hollows; these are home to their prey which includes insects, reptiles, small mammals such as bats and mice and other small birds. Screech-owls have a good sense of hearing which helps them locate their prey in any habitat. They also possess well-developed raptorial claws and a curved bill, both of which are used for tearing their prey into pieces small enough to swallow easily.

Insects = Red Sox

Reptiles = Yankees

Small Birds = Orioles/Blue Jays

The Rays also aren't going to win by a huge amount of runs, and will play small ball baseball to win games. Our outfield defense is insanely good at any ball park.

Which of the following would you most like to study: Centaurs, Goblins, Merpeople, Ghosts, Vampires, Werewolves, Trolls

If the Rays found out that Ghosts filled out seats at the Trop, would they count toward the teams attendance?

How would you like to be known to history: The Wise, The Good, The Great, The Bold.

Why would anyone choose The Good over the Great? Isn't that better than The Good? The Rays definitely don't want to be mediocre. Although the Rays could be remembered as a wise and smart team, the ultimate goal is to be the greatest team in the end.

Which of the following do you most find difficult to deal with: Hunger, Cold, Lonlieness, Boredom, Being Ingored

Cold bats are the worst, which feels like happens to the Rays more often than not.

Four Goblets are placed before you, which would you choose to drink:

  • The foaming, frothing, silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds. Yankees maybe, but not the Rays
  • The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums.
  • The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room. Tempted to pick this one because of the Sun rays analogy, but ultimately decided against it due to "golden liquid" which implies rich looking, which the Rays are not.
  • The Mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, an gives off fumes that make you see strange visions. Strange visions as: "Balfour can return to form" or "Jose Molina isn't as bad as we think" or  "David Price would never play for the Red Sox"

You and two friends need to cross a bridge cuarded by a triver troll who insists on fighting one of you before he will let all of you pass. Do you:

  • Attempt to confuse the troll into letting all three of you pass without fighting?
  • Suggest drawing lots to decide which of you will fight?
  • Suggest that all three of you should fight (without telling the troll)?
  • Volunteer to fight?
Even though the Rays have had their fair share of ballpark brawls, the Rays wouldn't want to risk injury or suspension. Paired with the strange and confusing strategies of our past two skippers, I think the first option is definitely something the Rays would try.

After submitting all the answers, the Sorting Hat looked deep into the Tampa Bay Rays' head and selected....


From Pottermore:

Ravenclaws prize wit, learning, and wisdom. It's an ethos etched into founder Rowena Ravenclaw diadem: 'wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure'

That's pretty accurate. The Rays have always had value in finding the next market inefficiency to stay competitive with the bigger clubs.

Yup. Its definitely the off-season.

You can read more about Ravenclaw and the rest of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Pottermore.


Editor's note: Shout out to Lookout Landing, who sorted the Mariners players and their writing staff into houses earlier this week, for inspiring this post.