clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Lannisters 3, Martells 2: Bowed, Bent, Broken

Game of Thrones is sweeping the nation! Here’s a baseball recap that sounds like it’s from Game of Thrones land. You like this kind of stuff, right?

The company of Dornish fighters from the golden gates of Dorne (known locally as the “Rays” for the golden emblem of the sun emblazoned upon their armor) once again fell to the seasoned—if expensive—Lannister men and sellswords from Braavos in the battleground known as “The Pit” today, slaying only 2 men for every 3 killed by the treacherous Lannister Lions Tigers. The charge led by seasoned Lannister veteran Justin Verlander (local “golden” boy known for his ability to stay in the field much longer than most generals) succesfully outlasted that of young upstart Blake Snell, the young wunderkind from Dorne who surprised the realm last year by handily quashing a series of smaller rebellions from the townfolk. Snell, since his promotion to general, has had trouble navigating the Red Waste and the mountains of Dorne, and today was no exception.

The Tigers pounced first in the beginning of the battle, thanks to a successful pincer move by Jose Iglesias, the Golden Glove. Snell committed several unforced errors during the battle’s second thrust, allowing three armed men to walk past his command post. Ser Iglesias took full advantage of this opportunity, and led an attack that overwhelmed the Dornish Rays for a moment. Snell collected himself and forced back the attackers, but the damage was already done.

At the battle’s midway point, Logan Forsythe, the Underrated, snuck past Verlander. Verlander, sensing his presence, made a wild attempt to attack Forsythe. The attack sailed wide, allowing Forsythe to get to a better position to damage to the Lannister fleet. Evan Longoria, the Resurrected, brought him home to make even the score. Snell, unfortunately, allowed a massive counter-attack to Ian Kinsler to put the Tigers ahead once more.

In the sixth inning section of the battle, Snell once again put Justin of House Upton (the more well-known brother of House Clegane...although his brother—who left House Martell for a large and perhaps unwise contract—has begun a fascinating redemption arc for a team named after a religious icon) into scoring position, who was driven home by Jarrod Saltalamacchia, the Unspellable. Prince Kevin Cash relieved Snell of duty not long after for Ryan Garton, First of His Name. These replacement generals fared admirably, allowing no greater damage to be done to the Dornish fleet, yet the injuries suffered were already too much to bear. Not even Erasmo Ramirez, the Smiling Knight, could shift the tide towards victory.

The Rays struck back not long after, as the core of their attacking force put together some strong offensive moves. Brad Miller, the Unfieldable, put himself into into Verlander’s second base, was moved into a more strategic position by Longoria, and was driven home by Logan Morrison the Streaky. Alas, such an action would be the last true striking opportunity for the Rays, and they fall today.

Tomorrow the Rays once again try to stop the invading Lannister army to avoid a complete conquest of Dorne. If the maesters tell it true, Mike Pelfrey, the Aged, will command the opposing forces. Chris Archer, Face of Dorne, looks to turn the tide.