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Cash Considerations: Kevin Cash is a Time Lord

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It’s the only thing that makes sense.

The World's Biggest Dalek Photo by Kippa Matthews/David Leon/Partners PR via Getty Images

May 9: Royal 7, Rays 6 (12)

Guys. Guys, I think I figured it out. I know what’s going on with Kevin Cash. You know, with the generally normal moves, interspersed with the occasional what the hell? move. This is it:

Kevin Cash is a Time Lord!

It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Okay, well. Maybe not the only thing that makes sense. But it still works.

Stay with me.

See, what if these are games we have already lost in another timeline? But Cash has hopped into his TARDIS in hopes that making some bizarre moves would fix it? Except he’s finding out what every baseball fan already knew: these losses are fixed moments in time. We were always going to lose these games. And it just doesn’t matter what our manager does, what our hitters do, or what our pitchers do.

Starting Rickie Weeks Jr. against a RHP

This is not ideal, obviously, but it’s defensible. With Steven Souza Jr. hurt, some suboptimal guy is gonna start against Chris Young, and Weeks might as well be that guy. First, Chris Young only has a job because teams keep signing him thinking he’s the other Chris Young, and then they’re too embarrassed to cut him once they realize their mistake (h/t Slackmates).

And I have zero doubts that in a previous timeline, Daniel Robertson started instead, and went 0-4 with two Ks, hit into two double plays, and collided with TBex on the bases resulting in injury to both. So whatever.

Verdict: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Not Challenging Corey Dickerson’s Caught Stealing in the Second

This was a good no-challenge. First, the chances of it getting overturned were very slim. Second, it was only the second inning. Do you really want to burn your one challenge on five percent chance that early?

And third, we were up 4-0. It’s not like we were gonna need that baserunner, amirite?

Verdict: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cash’s Ejection After the “Balk”

This was the smartest move Cash made all night, but also the most damning. I mean, if you were a Time Lord, and you knew how this was gonna end, would you wanna stick around?

Verdict: Sneaky Bastard

Sucre and LoMo pick off Hosmer

This play doesn’t happen by accident.

Two ways to explain this play:

1: Everything about this is beautiful. Logan Morrison playing possum to sucker Eric Hosmer off the bag, then drifting back behind him. Sucre making the throw before LoMo got to the bag to cut down further on Hosmer’s reaction time. The on-the-money throw from Jesus Sucre. Just fantastic, and in a huge situation.

In soccer, you’d call it a set piece, and you don’t execute something like this without studying film. A lot of film. So kudos to whoever scoped this out, whether it was Cash or Foley or one of the players, because it was really fun to watch, and it showed some great prep work.

2: Oooooorrrrr Cash spotted something from a previous trip through the timeline, and thought, hey, this could work next time. And even if we lose, we might get on SportsCenter.

Which do you think is more logical?

Verdict: I think we all know what really happened here

Foley and the Relievers

This is Cash Considerations, not Foley’s Follies, so we won’t dig too deeply into how Tom ran the pen, or even the rest of the game for that matter. It was interesting that:

  1. Foley seemed to have a much quicker hook;
  2. It just didn’t matter.
  3. Like, at all.

Honestly, the only move that I disagreed with was pulling Jose Alvarado after two innings for Diego Moreno. Yes, Alvarado had had two up-and-downs, and he’s not a really a multi-inning guy (I don’t think), but he’d only thrown 14 pitches and was cruising, and Moreno was your last pitcher making his major league debut.

But even that would have been an understandable move under normal circumstances. And it lends further credence to the “Kevin-Cash-is-a-Time-Lord-but-baseball-games-are-fixed-moments-in-time” theory.

Verdict: I hate baseball. And the universe.