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GDT: The New York Yankees' controverisal new free agent signing.


Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

The New York Yankees unveiled their newest free agent signing this weekend. Jeff, the biometric 3D printer that only prints copies of Aaron Judge, is the first non-human entity to be allowed to participate in major league baseball games. Jeff plans on waiting in the batter's box until it is his turn to hit, then spitting out a copy of Aaron Judge that is genetically engineered to hit a baseball 800 feet. Jeff, speaking through a binary interpreter, says future Judge copies will be capable of reaching orbit, providing the Earth with more much-needed artificial satellites.

Only time will tell if this is a good thing. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.