Chris Archer declares war on Astros mascot Orbit

Hatfields and McCoys. Spy vs Spy. Metallica vs Napster.

Adrian Beltre vs People Touching His Head.

There are a lot of classic rivalries, but it’s time to add a new one to the mix. Last night Rays ace Chris Archer decided enough was enough when it came to the lovable antics of Astros mascot Orbit, and handed over a “Declaration of Unfriendliness.”

Orbit, who is known for teasing and frustrating visiting players — think sidelines tea party with David Ortiz or *NSYNC dance contest against Logan Morrison — Orbit certainly has his own cheeky brand of fun. It makes him a fan favorite, but apparently Chris Archer had enough.

Was it because Orbit once compared Archer to Jaden Smith? That happened two years ago and one would expect Archer had forgotten it by now, but it seems like the pitcher still harbors a grudge. During Monday’s game in Houston, Archer handed Orbit a letter.

Why is it so crumpled, you might ask? Well let me tell you!

As you can see, even Steven Souza Jr. got in on it, defending Archer against the fuzzy green menace. Archer was done taking Orbit’s shenaningans with a smile. No, this was war, and Archer would defend himself with weapons if need be. Water balloons. Whipped cream pies. The possibilities were endless.

Orbit had no interest in yielding to Archer. An alien cannot simply admit defeat on home turf after all.

When disguises failed to confuse Archer, Orbit took his rage out on sideline reporter Alex Corddry.

Eep, guess you’re not getting that back, Alex.

Now, you’d think this level of tomfoolery might earn Archer a stern lecture from the Rays front office. After all, players are supposed to be on their best behavior in visiting cities, aren’t they. Turns out the Rays are all in.

Orbit proved the beef was real by showing love for a former Texas rival, J.P. Arencibia.

And Archer doubled down by posting an easier to read version of his “Declaration of Unfriendliness” online.

So, do you think Archer is in the right? Was it time for someone to give Orbit a taste of his own medicine?

We’re #TeamArcher all the way, and will be watching tonight to see if things escalate.