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Yankees 12, Rays 1: Questioning everything

Was that the most painful game of the season?

Tampa Bay Rays v New York Yankees Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

The Yankees beat the Rays by a final score of 12-1 on Wednesday afternoon, completing the sweep for New York, and bringing the season series to 7-2 in favor of the Bronx Bombers so far in 2019. It was bad, and it led to just so many questions during the game. Here they are:

Is Snell broken? (No.)

Is there anything to the “Snell using the curveball too much” narrative, though? (This deserves a full article.)

Is Charlie Morton actually the best pitcher on the team? (Quite possibly. In fact, probably.)

Could the timing of Yandy’s injury have been any worse? (No. He would’ve taken this illustrious Happ/Sabathia combo deep a half dozen times this series.)

How do the Yankees have a perpetually endless supply of dudes who spit on any pitch a millimeter outside the zone and foul off a half dozen pitches every time they get two strikes? (Cloning.)

What is the purpose of life? (TBD.)

Is there a worse time to get 0.1 IP out of your ace then smack dab in the middle of a 47 in 48 stretch? (No.)

Is there any pitcher in baseball more infuriating not to be able to mash than CC Sabathia? (No. Especially given his absurd history of hitting Rays batters and his 31 mph fastball.)

Can the Rays just forfeit now (third inning), pack up the bags, and get to Oakland a little early? (I checked, they can’t.)

How many innings can we squeeze out of Daniel Robertson today? (Retroactively: Apparently, one! And an efficient one!)

Why did I have to land this game as the game to recap? (As karma for my getting to write the Walkoff Willy recap.)

Is my under 9.5 runs bet somehow going to hit?! (Retroactively: Silly to even get my hopes up.)

Have I moved on to reading a book while half-watching this game? (Yes.)

Kafka was the Rage, or Up in the Old Hotel? (Up in the Old Hotel, c’mon.)

Would you rather live in 1940s New York City, 1960s L.A., or 1920s New Orleans? (1940s NYC by a hair.)

Why couldn’t we have used Castillo yesterday and Roe today? (Kevin Cash is not able to see into the future. God, what a moron.)

Is there any chance leaving CC in here for the sixth is going to burn the Yanks? (Of course not.)

Are the Rays going to use literally every pitcher from the bullpen? (Apparently.)

Despite what was said earlier, am I crazy or did Sabathia legitimately pitch great today? (Seriously.)

How insanely hard did I jinx D-Rob this season? (Hard.)

How would you rank the classic ballpark foods? (1. Sausage 2. Soft-serve in a helmet 3. Chicken Fingers 4. Peanuts 5. Nachos)

Do the Yankees dead ass have 12 runs on six hits right now? (I’m going to get my eyes checked.)

Can this game hurry up and end already? (Retroactively: Yes. It can.)

All right, I am officially just reading until the game is over and I can post this recap. (Oh wait, that’s needs to be a question.... oh well. Life is pain.)

Hey, did we just answer the purpose of life question from earlier? (Yes! Well done, team.)

Am I glad that baseball is a 162-game season, so that it allows me to have the perspective that one game doesn’t really matter, and we should never live and die with our teams on a yearly basis, let alone day-to-day basis? (Yes. Have a better night than you had afternoon, all.)