The above was the comment to me by our intrepid site editor, and at first, my reaction was probably much like yours upon reading the headline of this article: “I beg your pardon?”
Actually, if we’re going to be honest my response was: “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
You are forgiven if you have never spent much thought or consideration on Tyler Glasnow’s hair. In all fairness, he wears a hat all game, and when he isn’t wearing a hat in games, he is 6’7” tall making it very hard for we the standard-heighted to really appreciate what’s going on in regards to his mane.
But when Glasnow originally came to the Rays from the Pirates, he was sporting a truly magnificent head of hair. We’re talking GQ cover model hair, the hair you see on guys in magazines trying to sell you cologne that smells like motor oil, pine needles, and leather. The “did he really just wake up looking like old school Kurt Russell with Cillian Murphy’s face, or nah?” kind of hair.
And then he cut it in in the 2019 season.
This is not, of course, to imply that by cutting his hair, Glasnow became a Samson-esque cautionary tale, wherein he learned the hard way that all of his strength was truly in his hair. Nor was it an example of a player whose hair was his “thing” like Tim Lincecum (okay, so maybe Lincecum’s “thing” was his bizarre delivery and also being REALLY good for awhile, but I digress).
No, if anything, Glasnow started to show that he was finding himself as a starter and really demonstrating some admirable confidence in the 2019 season.
Except he was doing it with really boring hair.
So short. So mundane.
Then, as previewed in his spring training headshots, it became apparent that Glasnow had learned a valuable lesson over the offseason: one can be a great pitcher and ALSO have incredible movie star hair.
The Rays, likewise clearly approve of his new grooming choice.
That forehead curl puts Henry Cavill to shame.
And before you say to yourselves, “Ashley, this is ridiculous, it’s just hair.” I will have you know that Glasnow is moving in on the quarter finals of the MLB Network Radio “Best Hair in Baseball” bracket, so this is hardly just my opinion.
Best Hair in Baseball— MLB Network Radio on SiriusXM (@MLBNetworkRadio) April 7, 2020
DAILY #BHIB BRACKET UPDATE: East Coast Hair Bias? @RaysBaseball @TGlasnow and @BlueJays Vlad Guerrero Jr crush the Monday polls and cruise on to the Sweet Sixteen!
Check @MLBNetworkRadio throughout the month for daily voting pic.twitter.com/m00D35T6ZG
None among us will know why Glasnow decided to grow his hair back out, but thanks to quarantine, it’s unlikely to get chopped again any time soon.
We look forward to the return of baseball so we can find out if his skills on the mound are any better than they were last season, so we can determine once and for all if the hair has any special secondary powers.